Da S. (sanders) reviewed Is Adoption for You : The Information You Need to Make the Right Choice on + 24 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
It is a very light read. The title asks the question, "Is adoption for you?". If you'd like to save a read, I'll give the author's answer for 95% of people: Yes. In fact all negative myths are not true and you are left feeling like it is easy and inspired to go adopt.
If you want to adopt and have all sorts of doubts, this author will give positive answers why you should adopt for most of them. I was suprised at the generalism of the answers often without any cited references using phrases such as "most children", and "often", and "in general". You rarely find out what those terms mean in terms of studies and it becomes clear that it is just the writer's opinion and the writer is pro-adoption.
There were a few obvious cases where she didn't suggest adoption: when you knew your career would be so important that you wouldn't spend time with the child or if you would abuse the child. Kind of obvious stuff.
Sometimes, she'd contradict herself to make a point. In one chapter on bonding she spends many pages describing that "bonding" doesn't really exist according to certain researchers. (She doesn't discuss anyone who support bonding.) But then to cover herself in case she didn't win you with that arguement, she goes on to tell you that bonding won't be a problem and children will immediately bond to their parents... Wait a second does it exist or not?
I think that if you are for adoption and your spouse is not and your spouse is not a critical reader, this may be a good book to give to him or her to evangelize adoption. It will basically convince your spouse to do it and it is an easy read. Other than that, I didn't find much use to this book. Many of her suggestions about the ease of adopting a child or the way she glossed over the difficulties of children who have been abused as needing special attention, conflicts with experiences of friends and family.
I'm still for adoption, but I think that this author does the whole process a disservice by putting on rose colored glasses and glossing over issues.
If you want to adopt and have all sorts of doubts, this author will give positive answers why you should adopt for most of them. I was suprised at the generalism of the answers often without any cited references using phrases such as "most children", and "often", and "in general". You rarely find out what those terms mean in terms of studies and it becomes clear that it is just the writer's opinion and the writer is pro-adoption.
There were a few obvious cases where she didn't suggest adoption: when you knew your career would be so important that you wouldn't spend time with the child or if you would abuse the child. Kind of obvious stuff.
Sometimes, she'd contradict herself to make a point. In one chapter on bonding she spends many pages describing that "bonding" doesn't really exist according to certain researchers. (She doesn't discuss anyone who support bonding.) But then to cover herself in case she didn't win you with that arguement, she goes on to tell you that bonding won't be a problem and children will immediately bond to their parents... Wait a second does it exist or not?
I think that if you are for adoption and your spouse is not and your spouse is not a critical reader, this may be a good book to give to him or her to evangelize adoption. It will basically convince your spouse to do it and it is an easy read. Other than that, I didn't find much use to this book. Many of her suggestions about the ease of adopting a child or the way she glossed over the difficulties of children who have been abused as needing special attention, conflicts with experiences of friends and family.
I'm still for adoption, but I think that this author does the whole process a disservice by putting on rose colored glasses and glossing over issues.
