Da S. (sanders) reviewed Is Adoption for You : The Information You Need to Make the Right Choice on + 24 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
It is a very light read. The title asks the question, "Is adoption for you?". If you'd like to save a read, I'll give the author's answer for 95% of people: Yes. In fact all negative myths are not true and you are left feeling like it is easy and inspired to go adopt.
If you want to adopt and have all sorts of doubts, this author will give positive answers why you should adopt for most of them. I was suprised at the generalism of the answers often without any cited references using phrases such as "most children", and "often", and "in general". You rarely find out what those terms mean in terms of studies and it becomes clear that it is just the writer's opinion and the writer is pro-adoption.
There were a few obvious cases where she didn't suggest adoption: when you knew your career would be so important that you wouldn't spend time with the child or if you would abuse the child. Kind of obvious stuff.
Sometimes, she'd contradict herself to make a point. In one chapter on bonding she spends many pages describing that "bonding" doesn't really exist according to certain researchers. (She doesn't discuss anyone who support bonding.) But then to cover herself in case she didn't win you with that arguement, she goes on to tell you that bonding won't be a problem and children will immediately bond to their parents... Wait a second does it exist or not?
I think that if you are for adoption and your spouse is not and your spouse is not a critical reader, this may be a good book to give to him or her to evangelize adoption. It will basically convince your spouse to do it and it is an easy read. Other than that, I didn't find much use to this book. Many of her suggestions about the ease of adopting a child or the way she glossed over the difficulties of children who have been abused as needing special attention, conflicts with experiences of friends and family.
I'm still for adoption, but I think that this author does the whole process a disservice by putting on rose colored glasses and glossing over issues.
If you want to adopt and have all sorts of doubts, this author will give positive answers why you should adopt for most of them. I was suprised at the generalism of the answers often without any cited references using phrases such as "most children", and "often", and "in general". You rarely find out what those terms mean in terms of studies and it becomes clear that it is just the writer's opinion and the writer is pro-adoption.
There were a few obvious cases where she didn't suggest adoption: when you knew your career would be so important that you wouldn't spend time with the child or if you would abuse the child. Kind of obvious stuff.
Sometimes, she'd contradict herself to make a point. In one chapter on bonding she spends many pages describing that "bonding" doesn't really exist according to certain researchers. (She doesn't discuss anyone who support bonding.) But then to cover herself in case she didn't win you with that arguement, she goes on to tell you that bonding won't be a problem and children will immediately bond to their parents... Wait a second does it exist or not?
I think that if you are for adoption and your spouse is not and your spouse is not a critical reader, this may be a good book to give to him or her to evangelize adoption. It will basically convince your spouse to do it and it is an easy read. Other than that, I didn't find much use to this book. Many of her suggestions about the ease of adopting a child or the way she glossed over the difficulties of children who have been abused as needing special attention, conflicts with experiences of friends and family.
I'm still for adoption, but I think that this author does the whole process a disservice by putting on rose colored glasses and glossing over issues.
Sandra S. (Doss) reviewed Is Adoption for You : The Information You Need to Make the Right Choice on + 153 more book reviews
This book is full of a lot of valuable information necessary to decide whether to adopt. I'm grateful to the person who sent it to me and I know it will help others that can't decide whether or not to adopt. The only downside I had to it was that it doesn't answer the question for someone with disabilities (The possible parent, not the child).
Audrey S. (auddiemae) -
As a mother who adopted a child who ended up having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the 70's before there were answers, I would say this book is terrible. The book is a "happily ever after" version of adoption, with no real insight into problems that can exist.
Babies are cute and wonderful: but, they grow up into adults. The mental and physical problems that are genetic can be passed down. Parents MUST be made aware that these things can and do happen, even under the best circumstances. You may have recessive gene traits that causes a lifetime of horrendous medical expenses not evident at birth. All these things need to be considered.
I love my daughter dearly; however, she disrupted our lives daily, and the medical expenses were beyond our means. I know of one couple who adopted two children from "wonderful" families. One has inherited schizrophrenia; one ADDHD.
I would do it all over again as I LOVE my daughter dearly: however, when an author is writing a book of this type, it should include both pros and cons so couples can be prepared, or at least knowledgable of possible consequences.
Babies are cute and wonderful: but, they grow up into adults. The mental and physical problems that are genetic can be passed down. Parents MUST be made aware that these things can and do happen, even under the best circumstances. You may have recessive gene traits that causes a lifetime of horrendous medical expenses not evident at birth. All these things need to be considered.
I love my daughter dearly; however, she disrupted our lives daily, and the medical expenses were beyond our means. I know of one couple who adopted two children from "wonderful" families. One has inherited schizrophrenia; one ADDHD.
I would do it all over again as I LOVE my daughter dearly: however, when an author is writing a book of this type, it should include both pros and cons so couples can be prepared, or at least knowledgable of possible consequences.
