Thanks Heather. I'm really my own worse enemy when it comes to my weight. And I get so wishy-washy over how I want to do things. Not on purpose, mind you. I'll come up with a plan and be determined to do it, but then I over think it to death and it just falls apart. I never used to be that way. And I know I use menopause as an excuse a lot, but in my case, it's true. My whole system changed when I went into menopause, and I'm no longer the strong, confident woman I used to be. Oh, she's in there, somewhere. I see moments of her, but it's all too little. I used to make a plan and nothing could change it until I had done what I set out to do. And I did what I said I'd do. Now, it's like I'm a wimp about things. And not something I'm happy about. But I keep trying and these days it's about the best I can do. This morning I'm 245.2.

No progress to report. But I'm still here.

Last week, or maybe two weeks ago, I watched a special on TV hosted by Oprah, and it was all about menopause. It was fascinating and really eye opening. Not much research has been conducted on menopause, and there's only a small bit of time that is spent on it in med school, even for Obgyns. My husband watched it too, which I appreciate, as now he also has a better idea of what that's all about for when the time comes for me.

The Oprah TV special is available to stream on Hulu and Disney plus if you're interested.

I don't have either Hulu or Disney plus, so hopefully by the time I want to watch it again it will be available elsewhere. Or maybe I'll sign up for the free trial, watch it, then cancel. We used to have some of these streaming platforms, but they have gotten ridiculously expensive. Last time we had Hulu, it was $20/month. I remember when it was like $6/mo way back when. Anyway, now we get shows on DVD/Blu-ray from the library. 

Thanks Heather. I get HULU thru my son's service, so I'll see if I can find it.

Teri, glad to hear from you.

I had planned to start the Carnivore Diet Plan next month but after reviewing it more, I realize there's no way I could stick with such a severe plan. But I can make simple changes like not bringing sugery snacks into the apt., or salty snacks like chips. And I can use lower carb breads or buns if I want to make a turkey burger. I do have high blood pressure and although I take meds for it, I think trying to follow an all meat/ high fat diet program is just too risky, health wise. And frankly, I need more variety than what the carnivore diet plan allows ( I bought the book to read up on it).

I'm going to continue eating things like the turkey burgers, which are healthier than beef burgers, and I'm going back to making pots of beans in the crockpot and then dividing it into single serve containers to freeze for later meals. But I am going to be cutting out as much of the bad carbs/junk food carbs as I possibly can. Going to work towards eating much less than I have been. I've always been a big eater, small meals just don't seem to fill me up. But within my food budget, I'm going to try to do my best to buy as healthy as I can. This weight has got to come back down. I've been eating my feelings all this month and I'm up to 246.4. I simply can't let it go any higher. So I've got to make changes I know I can live with long term. Not try for the latest marketing catch for dieters, which I think the carnivore diet plan is.

I feel better after coming to that decision last night and this morning I weighed in at 242, so I've made the start to getting back down to what I was back in March and then going further. It meant throwing away some food items but it's better that it goes into the trash and not my stomach. And since they had been opened, I couldn't donate them to the food pantry. Had they not been opened, I would have.

Today I'll be calling to set up the appt. to get the x-ray on my knee/calf area. I tried putting it off but it's not getting better. Need to find out what's going on with it.

Vicki, catchy phrase "eating my feelings.". I went grocery shopping this week and impulse got the better of me but I got it out of my system now.  I suppose there could always be a  "good reason" to comfort eat. I ate because of Dad's death for a couple of months. Now I'm feeling stressed because next week Meggie is having surgery plus its the 7-year anniversary of my DW passing. But I think I've got better control now than last month. The weather is nicer, too.

We can all find reasons to eat things we should have left at the store ,Teri. We just have to do our best each day, and if we mess up, with God's grace, we have another day to try and get it better. But I'm learning I can't make long term plans cause I always fall short of doing what I swore I was going to do. So here on out I'm not going to put the pressure on myself to "get it right". I'm just going to do what I can daily and hope it's enough. I'm 243.8 today.

I'm 242.8 this morning, so hoping it keeps going down.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend.

Happy Easter everyone. I'll be having a slice of ham in a sandwich as my holiday meal. Keeping it very simple.

Todays weigh in- 243.6

Happy Easter!I've been invited to have ham dinner with friends. I'm bringing a berry pie. I expect to bring home leftover ham. 205 this morning.