Lenka S. reviewed Behind the Burqa: Our Life in Afghanistan and How We Escaped to Freedom on + 832 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
Overlook: This memoir from two sisters who fled Afghanistan 20 years apart. Through these first-hand accounts readers come to understand the 70s golden era of progressive communist politics led by Soviet occupation, and that the much-maligned Taliban only picked up where the Mujihaddin left off in curtailing women's rights. In fact, as "Sulima" and "Hala"'s mother points out, "[The Taliban] is better than the Mujihaddin. The laws are strict and harsh, but at least we know what to expect. They're not just randomly breaking into houses and killing people.... If we keep all the rules, then we will be safe." Unfortunately, the political situation is never explained in detail. the reader never knows who is in power, and why. Much it's so difficult to distinguish one sister from the other, and the narration is poorly written. Much of the impact of this well-intentioned book is lost.
The first 3/4ths of this book written by the older sister, Sulima. A former Muslim and living in America, Sulima details her struggle for equality and education for females in her native country Afghanistan. Sulima was an rebellious child, who questioned her fathers newfound religious zealous instructions. And though her father was MODERATE muslim, insisting his daughters be educated, unlike his own father, who saw his granddaughters as a nothing but a source of shame. He was doting and loving of his daughters as much as his religious fanaticism allowed him. He granted them every luxury, and insisted on higher education, where most women were not allowed to learn to read for fear of corruption, and were not premier do leave the house past getting their period. He even permitted his daughters to have infidel friends. Forbidden by Islam. Her father died of car accident. Sulima refused a suitor picked by her brother because he was ugly and phatetic, and was granted permission to find her own husband, while attending university. She found her self a man. He turned out to be a Homosexual, into kidnapping 10yr boys from the countryside and raping them. Some relative found out and beat the bejesus out of him. Sulima was told and called off the engagement. The guy was incensed his honor was sullied and kidnapped her. She re-promissed to merry him. Then told her brother, hoping to save her. Her brother feels family honor will be sullied, he forces the marriage. Sulima is advised by a clerk to find a man and marry him quickly and bring the license to cancel the other marriage. Miracle happens, she does. This is a big dishonor for her family, and for the other man. Everyone is after them to kill them. Reparations are made by the uncle of her new husband to her Previous abusive engagement/husband. The clerk at the marriage license office took pity on them, is the mediator. Eventually he offers her new husband a job in his office as assistant clerk.
The last 1/4th of the book was written by Hala. Sulima's younger sister by 16 years grew up under very different, much more brutal regimes before seeking refugee status in America and ultimately with her sister. During Hala's childhood she witnessed considerably more violence and oppressive treatment under the Mujihaddin and later the Taliban who sought to rid Afghanistan of the evil Western influences and establish a pure Islamic State. Hala bravely ran an underground classroom for children (because the government believed education was evil and unnecessary.) Once she had been discovered by the Taliban she was fiercely beaten and essentially told she would be killed soon. Hala was forced to leave her country. She entered America illegally and ended up in a lengthy struggle with American Immigration before ultimately being granted political asylum. I found it infuriating that of all the terrible things Hala endured in Afghanistan she goes on and on and on about all the "atrocities" at the hands of INS, the court system, customs officials etc.. The bulk of her story is not the 20 plus years of her life in war torn and little understood society like the reader might imagine, but lengthy details, of how violated she felt by AMERICA!!! In her words she "felt no safety in our harsh and alien world". Hala found only a "cold and friendless place". For example, she was horrified at having to deal with rude, weary, overworked airport officials who couldn't understand her language; mortified that she couldn't use the restroom alone or take her luggage with her when she did go; mentally defeated because the bench was uncomfortable and she was cold; shocked and ashamed the shower curtains didn't close properly and devastated at how long she was kept in detention until she could prove her case. Hala even claims she was denied "spiritual food to nourish my soul" and given only "physical food to nourish my body". She complains how the vegetables were overcooked and limp, the meat was fatty and the oatmeal-loose and watery. "The food was tasteless. It was a diet to make people feel physically sick and mentally punished." While detailing all her perceived injustices, Hala barely mentions all rules that were bent to make her more comfortable. She was allowed privileges others weren't and access to various things like an Islamic chaplain, prayer rugs, phonecalls, her sister being allowed to interpret in legal procedings, free medical attention, her holy Koran, shawl to cover her head etc... You would think after growing up in Hell that something as minor as having to go to the dining hall (but not forced to eat) during Ramadan wouldn't be so bad-think again!. All you read about is how insensitive America has been to her suffering and her utter disappointment with this lousy country... Her lack of gratitude is disgusting. Her bloated sense of entitlement will amaze you. Hala refuses to understand that when you enter a country illegally, you have to go through the red tape process.This has become a long drawn out ordeal due to the endless droves of non-citizens seeking life in America. It may not be pleasant or the most efficient process but I'm certain it wasn't as bad as life with the Taliban. Now I don't know if it's just me-but I can only imagine thousands upon thousands of hungry Afghans in her Godforsaken country who would be very appreciative to eat like she did while in detention. I won't even go into her new found safety and peace of mind from the "religious police" who were constantly on the look out for the smallest "offense" in order beat or kill a woman. Something as simple as laughing, whistling, speaking loudly, walking in front of a male, wearing cosmetics, showing any skin or leaving the country without permission from a Mahram are serious offenses that could end your life.. Do you see the irony in all this?
Conclusion: Over all this book, though interesting, certainly gives a window into the life under the burqa, but is not the best around, on the subject. There are much, much better books, published on the subject. With better written narrative, and more appreciative subjects to the kindness of the western refugee programs. Even those who crossed illegally and were subjected to harsher treatments by the western governments to keep the dangerous elements out of their country, as are their rights. First sister pretends to be uneducated victim of her family cruelty, but is a spoiled brat, victim of her own whims and ignorance of her own cultural norms. Second sister is a just as spoiled, and demands everyone treats her like a princess just because her own family did so. Her rude awakening is not to her liking. They are not the company I wish to spend my free time with.
The first 3/4ths of this book written by the older sister, Sulima. A former Muslim and living in America, Sulima details her struggle for equality and education for females in her native country Afghanistan. Sulima was an rebellious child, who questioned her fathers newfound religious zealous instructions. And though her father was MODERATE muslim, insisting his daughters be educated, unlike his own father, who saw his granddaughters as a nothing but a source of shame. He was doting and loving of his daughters as much as his religious fanaticism allowed him. He granted them every luxury, and insisted on higher education, where most women were not allowed to learn to read for fear of corruption, and were not premier do leave the house past getting their period. He even permitted his daughters to have infidel friends. Forbidden by Islam. Her father died of car accident. Sulima refused a suitor picked by her brother because he was ugly and phatetic, and was granted permission to find her own husband, while attending university. She found her self a man. He turned out to be a Homosexual, into kidnapping 10yr boys from the countryside and raping them. Some relative found out and beat the bejesus out of him. Sulima was told and called off the engagement. The guy was incensed his honor was sullied and kidnapped her. She re-promissed to merry him. Then told her brother, hoping to save her. Her brother feels family honor will be sullied, he forces the marriage. Sulima is advised by a clerk to find a man and marry him quickly and bring the license to cancel the other marriage. Miracle happens, she does. This is a big dishonor for her family, and for the other man. Everyone is after them to kill them. Reparations are made by the uncle of her new husband to her Previous abusive engagement/husband. The clerk at the marriage license office took pity on them, is the mediator. Eventually he offers her new husband a job in his office as assistant clerk.
The last 1/4th of the book was written by Hala. Sulima's younger sister by 16 years grew up under very different, much more brutal regimes before seeking refugee status in America and ultimately with her sister. During Hala's childhood she witnessed considerably more violence and oppressive treatment under the Mujihaddin and later the Taliban who sought to rid Afghanistan of the evil Western influences and establish a pure Islamic State. Hala bravely ran an underground classroom for children (because the government believed education was evil and unnecessary.) Once she had been discovered by the Taliban she was fiercely beaten and essentially told she would be killed soon. Hala was forced to leave her country. She entered America illegally and ended up in a lengthy struggle with American Immigration before ultimately being granted political asylum. I found it infuriating that of all the terrible things Hala endured in Afghanistan she goes on and on and on about all the "atrocities" at the hands of INS, the court system, customs officials etc.. The bulk of her story is not the 20 plus years of her life in war torn and little understood society like the reader might imagine, but lengthy details, of how violated she felt by AMERICA!!! In her words she "felt no safety in our harsh and alien world". Hala found only a "cold and friendless place". For example, she was horrified at having to deal with rude, weary, overworked airport officials who couldn't understand her language; mortified that she couldn't use the restroom alone or take her luggage with her when she did go; mentally defeated because the bench was uncomfortable and she was cold; shocked and ashamed the shower curtains didn't close properly and devastated at how long she was kept in detention until she could prove her case. Hala even claims she was denied "spiritual food to nourish my soul" and given only "physical food to nourish my body". She complains how the vegetables were overcooked and limp, the meat was fatty and the oatmeal-loose and watery. "The food was tasteless. It was a diet to make people feel physically sick and mentally punished." While detailing all her perceived injustices, Hala barely mentions all rules that were bent to make her more comfortable. She was allowed privileges others weren't and access to various things like an Islamic chaplain, prayer rugs, phonecalls, her sister being allowed to interpret in legal procedings, free medical attention, her holy Koran, shawl to cover her head etc... You would think after growing up in Hell that something as minor as having to go to the dining hall (but not forced to eat) during Ramadan wouldn't be so bad-think again!. All you read about is how insensitive America has been to her suffering and her utter disappointment with this lousy country... Her lack of gratitude is disgusting. Her bloated sense of entitlement will amaze you. Hala refuses to understand that when you enter a country illegally, you have to go through the red tape process.This has become a long drawn out ordeal due to the endless droves of non-citizens seeking life in America. It may not be pleasant or the most efficient process but I'm certain it wasn't as bad as life with the Taliban. Now I don't know if it's just me-but I can only imagine thousands upon thousands of hungry Afghans in her Godforsaken country who would be very appreciative to eat like she did while in detention. I won't even go into her new found safety and peace of mind from the "religious police" who were constantly on the look out for the smallest "offense" in order beat or kill a woman. Something as simple as laughing, whistling, speaking loudly, walking in front of a male, wearing cosmetics, showing any skin or leaving the country without permission from a Mahram are serious offenses that could end your life.. Do you see the irony in all this?
Conclusion: Over all this book, though interesting, certainly gives a window into the life under the burqa, but is not the best around, on the subject. There are much, much better books, published on the subject. With better written narrative, and more appreciative subjects to the kindness of the western refugee programs. Even those who crossed illegally and were subjected to harsher treatments by the western governments to keep the dangerous elements out of their country, as are their rights. First sister pretends to be uneducated victim of her family cruelty, but is a spoiled brat, victim of her own whims and ignorance of her own cultural norms. Second sister is a just as spoiled, and demands everyone treats her like a princess just because her own family did so. Her rude awakening is not to her liking. They are not the company I wish to spend my free time with.
