Helpful Score: 2
People often wonder why a woman stays with an abusive husband. In this book, Leslie Morgan Steiner describes her courtship and marriage to a husband who tried to kill her. In doing so, she describes how an abusive marriage can happen to anyone. The author describes all the reasons why she loved Conor, but also described all the red flags that she explained away to herself.
I could not put this book down. What I found especially wrenching were 2 things. At one point, before going through with the wedding, the author decides to tells someone about the abuse. First, she calls a domestic abuse hotline--only to get a busy signal. So then she decides to tell her father. She arranges to meet him for breakfast--only to find that he didn't show up. I had to wonder how differently things might have gone were it not for these 2 critical failures. The other thing I found amazing was that in doing research on abusive relationships, the author discovers that while numerous studies have been done on the female victimes, few studies have been done on the male perpetrators. The one researcher she conversed with, without ever knowing that she was a victim, described her husband and their relationship perfectly.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to understand domestic violence.
I could not put this book down. What I found especially wrenching were 2 things. At one point, before going through with the wedding, the author decides to tells someone about the abuse. First, she calls a domestic abuse hotline--only to get a busy signal. So then she decides to tell her father. She arranges to meet him for breakfast--only to find that he didn't show up. I had to wonder how differently things might have gone were it not for these 2 critical failures. The other thing I found amazing was that in doing research on abusive relationships, the author discovers that while numerous studies have been done on the female victimes, few studies have been done on the male perpetrators. The one researcher she conversed with, without ever knowing that she was a victim, described her husband and their relationship perfectly.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to understand domestic violence.
Helpful Score: 2
I have never experienced any kind of abuse from a man. I'm not quite sure why I felt compelled to read her story. Perhaps to gain an understanding as to why women choose to stay. I appreciated her honesty and her vulnerability throughout the book.
I was relieved for her that she finally got out and away from this man. To find that kind of strength after being broken down is admirable.
Overall, good read.
I was relieved for her that she finally got out and away from this man. To find that kind of strength after being broken down is admirable.
Overall, good read.
I selected this book to help me learn WHY women stay in abusive relationships. While I've never been is such a horrid situation myself, I know that there are intelligent, well-bred women who stay with men who abuse them. So what makes them do that? Reading Leslie Morgan Steiner's account of her love for a man who almost killed her shed some light on how these woman make excuses for their men. It was appalling to read of the small steps her abuser took, gradually escalating to her near-death attack. Of course, both Steiner and her then-husband abuser came from abusive childhoods. Some abuse is not in the physical form, but it is still as damaging. Read this book to help yourself understand what to avoid in relationships. And how to avoid damaging your children with verbal and emotional abuse. An enlightening read!
This memoir hit close to home for me so I got a bit emotional while reading it. I understood her confusion with what was happening to her and not knowing how to handle it. The "What if it was my fault?" questioning of herself, worrying about pushing the button that will set him off, putting yourself second to someone else (never do that!!), those feelings all came back to me. I found myself talking to this book, to her, trying to warn her that the path she was heading down was not the one she should be walking. I fell in love with this author the further and further I read, I wanted to jump in this book and shake the heck out of her (to wake her up) one minute and then jump in the next to protect her from the psychopath she had married. This was an excellent read for me!
Wow, this book was quite a page-turner! A fascinating look at why one bright and successful woman fell for and stayed with an abusive husband. Though her experiences are deeply disturbing, it is very uplifting when she is able to leave.
A heart wrenching, but fascinating non-fiction account of domestic abuse. The author, herself, was the victim and shares her story in an effort to bring attention to this all-too-common problem and help other victims find the courage and strength to leave their abusive relationships. The book reads like a novel and, trust me, you will hardly be able to tear yourself away. As a former Human Resources professional who has had to deal with the repercussions of domestic abuse in the workplace, I can say that the book did help me gain a better understanding of the mindset of the victim. Leslie is very lucky that she survived to tell her tale.
This is not a dry, clinical book - not at all. As I said before, it reads like a novel. Leslie tells the story of her life after college, how she fell in love with her abuser, how she hoped she could "fix" him and, ultimately, how she chose herself over him. A must-read for anyone whose life has been touched in any way by domestic abuse.
This is not a dry, clinical book - not at all. As I said before, it reads like a novel. Leslie tells the story of her life after college, how she fell in love with her abuser, how she hoped she could "fix" him and, ultimately, how she chose herself over him. A must-read for anyone whose life has been touched in any way by domestic abuse.
