Eva Marie L. (babyjulie) -
Helpful Score: 2
Ugh... this is a bunch of horribleness. I'm not even sure what to say here. I'll start with the so-called description of this book that states it's a "nail biting black mafia tome". Does Jones know what 'tome' means? I think not. The word 'tome' is used to description this 'little more than a booklet' a handful of times and each time it brought forth a hearty chuckle. Mainly because it's neither a 'tome', not a 'nail biter'.
I'd call this more of a..... itinerary. One that's sprinkled with words that I doubt the author even knew of before he cracked open the thesaurus he must have had right next to him.
Let's begin with some blurbs:
Washington News says "Dazzling! Oprah will love this book, as Well as the author." (Yes, this is as-is folks.)
The Herald - "Finally, a book with modern day language of urban Americans. This will mark the beginning of dispelling the stereotype stating that 'Black men do not read'." Hahahahahahahaha... You'd be hard pressed to find anyone - urban, black, white, what the hell ever - that speaks like this.
Mr. Jones, just because a blurb says something doesn't make it true. I can blurb here and now that this book is wonderful. Doesn't make it so now does it?
Whoever the hell Alfonso Westbrook is thinks this book belongs in law schools. Um, yeaaaah. That'll go over well. The Atlanta Journal seems to think Goines would be proud of this mound of steaming hot dog shit. I think Goines is probably rolling over in his grave. Whoever the hell Elise Jones is (wife perhaps? Couldn't be find anyone else to blurb the book Jones?) thinks this will "mainstream AA authors in the ever so tough literary world." Keep holding your breath honey. This book will do no such thing. Anyone with half a working brain cell will be horrified they touched this. I know, I am.
Shatora Jones (can I laugh now or must I wait?) "The cover looks good, but my Dad won't let me read it yet." Hmmmm.
On to the "tome".... Let's talk about the racism in the book. It's not much, but anything is enough in my eyes. Pg. 15 "..... in my eyes they were still white boys...." What exactly would it be called if I wrote a book and in it was " in my eyes they were still black boys and that's the bottom line." I know! It'd be called racism! I'd allow it with no comments if it gave one damn thing to the story! But it doesn't! Of course! Surprise, fucking surprise.
This is such a realistic, gritty book right? Going down the highway they kill one of their boys, while he's driving, push him over, steer the car to the side of the road and walk away. THIS WAS A PLANNED MURDER. Where is this reality at? The worlds most idiotic criminals? Mr. Jones, you KNOW people like this? Really? Astounding.
Pg. 112 - (this is a real good one) the main character gets some gifts for something, I forget what the hell it was. Someone he just met gives him a phone. (I can barely type here for laughing so damn much.) It was " an old-fashioned black telephone with a weird-looking device on the wire connecting the base to the receiver. He said it was nothing more than a decorative piece stylized during the 50's." Can my laughter be heard? What in the flying fuck? Just what??????? This is "realistic"? THIS is "writing"? Says who? His kid?
You know what, I'm done. I had so much more but I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about this crappy, horrible, idiotic, barely written book.
I'd bet a large sum of money Jones actually had a damn thesaurus sitting next to him when he was writing this. It reads like a damn travel plan, a poor one at that.
"We bought the cocaine. We bagged the cocaine. We sold the cocaine. I went to Kim's house. Then my girl got mad. Then I drove to see my boys. We had something to eat." Stick a few words in there that the average person wouldn't use in daily speech and there you have it - you've read the book.
I'm not even giving this away. I never thought I'd say it but this is really being thrown away. Someone may come after me if I hand them this book and I value my life too much. Hopefully jones fulfilled his desire and laid his pen down. I hope he never picks it up again. Not even to write a grocery list.
** For goodreads.com readers - This is a little side-note to anyone who may read this and decide to make a profile for the sole purpose of telling me how great this shitty book is, how I'm wrong, how this or this. Save your time and clicks. I don't care about anything you have to say. Nothing on God's green Earth can make me care so if you decide to not listen and make a profile and comment I'm only going to make fun of you for sticking up for this p.o.s. Create and comment at your own risk. ;-) **
I'd call this more of a..... itinerary. One that's sprinkled with words that I doubt the author even knew of before he cracked open the thesaurus he must have had right next to him.
Let's begin with some blurbs:
Washington News says "Dazzling! Oprah will love this book, as Well as the author." (Yes, this is as-is folks.)
The Herald - "Finally, a book with modern day language of urban Americans. This will mark the beginning of dispelling the stereotype stating that 'Black men do not read'." Hahahahahahahaha... You'd be hard pressed to find anyone - urban, black, white, what the hell ever - that speaks like this.
Mr. Jones, just because a blurb says something doesn't make it true. I can blurb here and now that this book is wonderful. Doesn't make it so now does it?
Whoever the hell Alfonso Westbrook is thinks this book belongs in law schools. Um, yeaaaah. That'll go over well. The Atlanta Journal seems to think Goines would be proud of this mound of steaming hot dog shit. I think Goines is probably rolling over in his grave. Whoever the hell Elise Jones is (wife perhaps? Couldn't be find anyone else to blurb the book Jones?) thinks this will "mainstream AA authors in the ever so tough literary world." Keep holding your breath honey. This book will do no such thing. Anyone with half a working brain cell will be horrified they touched this. I know, I am.
Shatora Jones (can I laugh now or must I wait?) "The cover looks good, but my Dad won't let me read it yet." Hmmmm.
On to the "tome".... Let's talk about the racism in the book. It's not much, but anything is enough in my eyes. Pg. 15 "..... in my eyes they were still white boys...." What exactly would it be called if I wrote a book and in it was " in my eyes they were still black boys and that's the bottom line." I know! It'd be called racism! I'd allow it with no comments if it gave one damn thing to the story! But it doesn't! Of course! Surprise, fucking surprise.
This is such a realistic, gritty book right? Going down the highway they kill one of their boys, while he's driving, push him over, steer the car to the side of the road and walk away. THIS WAS A PLANNED MURDER. Where is this reality at? The worlds most idiotic criminals? Mr. Jones, you KNOW people like this? Really? Astounding.
Pg. 112 - (this is a real good one) the main character gets some gifts for something, I forget what the hell it was. Someone he just met gives him a phone. (I can barely type here for laughing so damn much.) It was " an old-fashioned black telephone with a weird-looking device on the wire connecting the base to the receiver. He said it was nothing more than a decorative piece stylized during the 50's." Can my laughter be heard? What in the flying fuck? Just what??????? This is "realistic"? THIS is "writing"? Says who? His kid?
You know what, I'm done. I had so much more but I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about this crappy, horrible, idiotic, barely written book.
I'd bet a large sum of money Jones actually had a damn thesaurus sitting next to him when he was writing this. It reads like a damn travel plan, a poor one at that.
"We bought the cocaine. We bagged the cocaine. We sold the cocaine. I went to Kim's house. Then my girl got mad. Then I drove to see my boys. We had something to eat." Stick a few words in there that the average person wouldn't use in daily speech and there you have it - you've read the book.
I'm not even giving this away. I never thought I'd say it but this is really being thrown away. Someone may come after me if I hand them this book and I value my life too much. Hopefully jones fulfilled his desire and laid his pen down. I hope he never picks it up again. Not even to write a grocery list.
** For goodreads.com readers - This is a little side-note to anyone who may read this and decide to make a profile for the sole purpose of telling me how great this shitty book is, how I'm wrong, how this or this. Save your time and clicks. I don't care about anything you have to say. Nothing on God's green Earth can make me care so if you decide to not listen and make a profile and comment I'm only going to make fun of you for sticking up for this p.o.s. Create and comment at your own risk. ;-) **
