By: Sarah C. (Midwesterntool) + 2 more
Date Submitted: 5/2/2009
Last Updated: 5/2/2009
Genre: Biographies & Memoirs
Words: 631
Rating:

My name Kristi and you have found my profile. You see from profile picture that I have long dirty blonde hair. I have a goofy smile and I am holding up a novelty item. You have seen this picture a million times before. I pose in a cliche manner because I want you to think I am funny. I want you to like me. I want you to think that I am real.

I am very protective of my image. I have to be. I hold a prestigious position. Yet I myself have fallen into the addiction of social network website. From the safety of my computer, I will carefully share with you some of my "secrets".

First I'll tell you that I love God and he is my Guidant. I say that so you think I am a good person.

I'll tell you interesting tidbits people may or may not know about me. You'll learn that I met my husband at a pay phone and I love wearing sandals. My favorite time of the year is the end of August when the state fair is in operation. I want to try to capture you attention.

Then I'll tell a couple perceivable self depreciating things about me. I'll tell you that I love Lifetime movies. I have tried but I couldn't learn German, and that I can't dance. I want you to relate to me.

I'll joke about being "wild". I will write that in a bit of rebellion I cut my hair and pierced my ears. I want you to think I am real.

I want you to think that I am likable, so I'll tell you I met my best friend at camp when I was a child. I may mention that we both hate each other. I say that so you think we evolved into better people. I won't tell you that the reason I hated my best friend was because she was a bully. I won't confess that our friendship was founded on a mutual hatred of a girl. I don’t want you to see me as a bully.

I'll tell you the story of my first love. He was a football player. Our first kiss was on my parent's porch. I see that I am losing your interest. No one wants to hear the story of a stereotypical American girl. I'll claim that I use to hate my life because of was so typical. That is a lie. I will never tell you the rumors I told and the reputations I have ruined to reach to the place of my first kiss. I could list the friends I dropped so I could be popular enough to date a football player, but then you wouldn't like me.

I will try to win back your attention by recounting more stories: the time I broke my leg, the time I thought I was almost kidnapped, how I got three scars on my body. When you read, do you realize that I only address the other people as a "friend". I don't name names because they are not my friends anymore. I grew too old for them.

Maybe one day I will log on and confess that I have dreams where I am cheating on my husband. I don't know why I had to confess it. Maybe because phrasing it as a dream is better than phrasing it as a desire. But now that truth is out. At least you think of me as an honest person, I hope.

Well there, here I am! Do you like me now? Do you see that unlike every other profile I am not just a face in the crowd? I am a real person! Then I log off. I am off to live my reality of the perfect American girl facade.

The Eclectic Pen - Kristi- A Portrait of a

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