In the too-quiet town of Oakwood, only the lucky die of boredom…... and new homeowner Zack Walker isn’'t feeling lucky. Whoever said the burbs were boring will think twice after reading Linwood Barclay’s hilarious debut mystery, in which Dad learns the hard way that he...  more

In the too-quiet town of Oakwood, only the lucky die of boredom…... and new homeowner Zack Walker isn’'t feeling lucky. Whoever said the burbs were boring will think twice after reading Linwood Barclay’s hilarious debut mystery, in which Dad learns the hard way that he doesn’'t always know best. Zack wouldn'’t blame you for thinking he’s safety-obsessed. True, he masterminded a plot to trade his family’'s exciting city lifestyle for one of suburban tranquillity. True, even after this strategic move, Zack still has issues with family members who forget their keys in the front door, leave their cars unlocked, or park their backpacks at the top of the stairs— -- where you could kill yourself tripping over them. Just ask his wife, Sarah, or his teenage kids, Paul and Angie, who endure their share of lectures. Zack knows that he needs to chill out and assume the best for once -- —but we know what happens to those who assume. When Zack realizes their two-faced developer sent a petty thief to fix their leaky shower, he starts fighting hard to ignore the fact that Oakwood isn’'t the crime-free paradise he was hoping for. But his brief state of denial comes to an abrupt end when, during a walk by the creek, he stumbles across a dead body. Even more shocking, Zack actually knows who the victim is -- —and who might want him dead. With a killer roaming around their neighborhood and Zack’s overactive imagination in overdrive, he’'s sure things can’t get any worse. But then another local is murdered— -- and Zack’s paranoid tendencies get him implicated in the crime. While his wife is trying to remember why she married him in the first place, and his kids are considering whether it’'s time to have him committed, Zack decides there’'s only one thing he can do. To protect his family— -- and avoid being busted for a crime he didn’'t commit -- —he’'s going to have to override his safety-first instincts, tap into his delusions of machismo, and track down the killer himself.

John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife’s grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce -- and alien races willing to fight us for them are...  more

John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife’s grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce -- and alien races willing to fight us for them are common. So: we fight. To defend Earth, and to stake our own claim to planetary real estate. Far from Earth, the war has been going on for decades: brutal, bloody, unyielding. Earth itself is a backwater. The bulk of humanity’s resources are in the hands of the Colonial Defense Force. Everybody knows that when you reach retirement age, you can join the CDF. They don’t want young people; they want people who carry the knowledge and skills of decades of living. You’ll be taken off Earth and never allowed to return. You’ll serve two years at the front. And if you survive, you’ll be given a generous homestead stake of your own, on one of our hard-won colony planets. John Perry is taking that deal. He has only the vaguest idea what to expect. Because the actual fight, light-years from home, is far, far harder than he can imagine -- and what he will become is far stranger.  

On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (Sex Unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naïve tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and...  more

On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (Sex Unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naïve tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course the edge of the plane.

Dawn Tarnauer's life isn't exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living "off the grid," her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations,...  more

Dawn Tarnauer's life isn't exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living "off the grid," her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life's work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. Dawn's only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he's leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. "I should have said something sooner," Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. "Couldn't you smell her on his pants?" Dawn is stunned. It's one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back? It's not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs -- and man's best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck's doggie instincts instead of her own.

Named one of the Funniest Sites on the Web by PC World and winner of the 2011 Bloggies Awards for Most Humorous Weblog and Best Writing, the creator of the immensely popular ?Hyperbole and a Half? blog presents an illustrated collection of her hilarious stories with fifty percent new content.In...  more

Named one of the Funniest Sites on the Web by PC World and winner of the 2011 Bloggies Awards for Most Humorous Weblog and Best Writing, the creator of the immensely popular ?Hyperbole and a Half? blog presents an illustrated collection of her hilarious stories with fifty percent new content.In a four-color, illustrated collection of stories and essays, Allie Brosh?s debut Hyperbole and a Half chronicles the many ?learning experiences? Brosh has endured as a result of her own character flaws, and the horrible experiences that other people have had to endure because she was such a terrible child. Possibly the worst child. For example, one time she ate an entire cake just to spite her mother. Brosh?s website receives millions of unique visitors a month and hundreds of thousands of visitors a day. This amalgamation of new material and reader favorites from Brosh's blog includes stories about her rambunctious childhood; the highs and mostly lows of owning a smart, neurotic dog and a mentally challenged one; and moving, honest, and darkly comic essays tackling her struggles with depression and anxiety, among other anecdotes from Brosh's life. Artful, poignant, and uproarious, Brosh?s self-reflections have already captured the hearts of countless readers and her book is one that fans and newcomers alike will treasure.

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe. 'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the...  more

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe. 'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all. But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead. But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen. Only Christopher Moore, the man who brought you the outrageous lost gospel Lamb and the hysterical fish tale Fluke could have devised a new holiday classic that tugs at the heartstrings and serves up a healthy slice of fruitcake to boot. Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.

Meet Chet, the wise and lovable canine narrator of Dog on It, who works alongside Bernie, a down-on-his-luck private investigator. Chet might have flunked out of police school ("I'd been the best leaper in K-9 class, which had led to all the trouble in a way I couldn't remember...  more

Meet Chet, the wise and lovable canine narrator of Dog on It, who works alongside Bernie, a down-on-his-luck private investigator. Chet might have flunked out of police school ("I'd been the best leaper in K-9 class, which had led to all the trouble in a way I couldn't remember exactly, although blood was involved"), but he's a detective through and through. In this, their first adventure, Chet and Bernie investigate the disappearance of Madison, a teenage girl who may or may not have been kidnapped, but who has definitely gotten mixed up with some very unsavory characters. A well-behaved, gifted student, she didn't arrive home after school and her divorced mother is frantic. Bernie is quick to take the case -- something about a cash flow problem that Chet's not all that clear about -- and he's relieved, if vaguely suspicious, when Madison turns up unharmed with a story that doesn't add up. But when she disappears for a second time in a week, Bernie and Chet aren't taking any chances; they launch a full-blown investigation. Without a ransom demand, they're not convinced it's a kidnapping, but they are sure of one thing: something smells funny. Their search for clues takes them into the desert to biker bars and other exotic locals, with Chet's highly trained nose leading the way. Both Chet and Bernie bring their own special skills to the hunt, one that puts each of them in peril. But even as the bad guys try to turn the tables, this duo is nothing if not resourceful, and the result is an uncommonly satisfying adventure. With his doggy ways and his endearingly hard-boiled voice, Chet is full of heart and occasionally prone to mischief. He is intensely loyal to Bernie, who, though distracted by issues that Chet has difficulty understanding -- like divorce, child custody, and other peculiar human concerns -- is enormously likable himself, in his flawed, all-too-human way.

It all began when four traveling cases belonging to four different people got mixed up. Judy's contained a nightgown and an encyclopedia. Howard's contained a prehistoric rock collection. There was a jewel fortune in the third,and in the fourth...well, that's where the secret government papers...  more

It all began when four traveling cases belonging to four different people got mixed up. Judy's contained a nightgown and an encyclopedia. Howard's contained a prehistoric rock collection. There was a jewel fortune in the third,and in the fourth...well, that's where the secret government papers were! After the mix-up happened, the fireworks began, ending in the wildest chase on record...and the most surprising love affair of the year!

Four generations ago in the land of Euthymia, King Thalion - called the Wise, but known as the Fool - gave his crown to his court jester, Sagamore. The jester became Sagamore the Shrewd, who begat King Vespin the S neaky, who begat King Valgus the Brutal, father of the young Prince Abderian who...  more

Four generations ago in the land of Euthymia, King Thalion - called the Wise, but known as the Fool - gave his crown to his court jester, Sagamore. The jester became Sagamore the Shrewd, who begat King Vespin the S neaky, who begat King Valgus the Brutal, father of the young Prince Abderian who - although not the eldest of Valgus's many children - may well inherit the throne..Everyone wants the throne but Abderian. Yet it is he who bears the Mark of Sagamore ..and the Curse.

Scout-Officer John Leeming knew from the very start that his reconnaissance mission deep into enemy territory would likely be a one-way trip. But, after he crash-lands on a far distant planet and becomes a prisoner of ruthless aliens, he knows he can't just give up. Armed with only a piece of...  more

Scout-Officer John Leeming knew from the very start that his reconnaissance mission deep into enemy territory would likely be a one-way trip. But, after he crash-lands on a far distant planet and becomes a prisoner of ruthless aliens, he knows he can't just give up. Armed with only a piece of wood, a coil of copperlike wire, his quick wits, and an imaginary ally called Eustace, Leeming embarks on a brilliant campaign to gain his freedom--and undermine the alien war effort, too. This original, full-length version of one of Russell's most popular stories, "Plus X," is amusing, adventurous, fast moving, and razor sharp. Poking fun at bone-headed and inflexible bureaucrats and institutions, it ranks among his very best work.

Bimbos - Engineering professor Dr. James Owens Mega--aka Jay Omega, author of the new science fiction paperback, "Bimbos of the DeathSun" is at Rubicon, his first science fiction convention. The halls are alive with Trekkers, tech nerds and fantasy gamers decked out in all their Viking...  more

Bimbos - Engineering professor Dr. James Owens Mega--aka Jay Omega, author of the new science fiction paperback, "Bimbos of the DeathSun" is at Rubicon, his first science fiction convention. The halls are alive with Trekkers, tech nerds and fantasy gamers decked out in all their Viking finery. Everyone is eager to hail best selling author Appin Dungannon, whose gleeful disdain for his fans is legendary. But somewhere between the exhibition "Dungeons & Dragons" game and the costume contest, Dungannon gets done in. As Jay encounters possible suspects with their own horror stories of Dungannon's behavior, he realizes...who didn't want to kill him? Zombies - In "Zombies of the Gene Pool", eight young men dreaming of literary immortality bury a time capsule in the 1950s. Years later, when some of them are famous, the time capsule is excavated amidst a great deal of media hoopla. Things are going splendidly until a guest shows up: a writer who supposedly died 30 years ago. And he is threatening to expose secrets that have been buried all these years. When murder throws the whole agenda into chaos, Jay Omega must separate science fiction from fact--and unearth another story.

FOR LACK OF A SPELL... Xanth was the enchanted land where magic ruled -- where every citizen had a special spell only he could cast. It was a land of centaurs and dragons and basilisks. For Bink of North Village, however, Xanth was no fairy tale. He alone had no magic. And unless he...  more

FOR LACK OF A SPELL... Xanth was the enchanted land where magic ruled -- where every citizen had a special spell only he could cast. It was a land of centaurs and dragons and basilisks. For Bink of North Village, however, Xanth was no fairy tale. He alone had no magic. And unless he got some -- and got some fast! -- he would be exiled. Forever. But the Good Magician Humfrey was convinced that Bink did indeed have magic. In fact, both Beauregard the genie and the magic wall chart insisted that Bink had magic. Magic as powerful as any possessed by the King or by Good Magician Humfrey -- or even by the Evil Magician Trent. Be that as it may, no one could fathom the nature of Bink's very special magic. Bink was in despair. This was even worse than having no magic at all... and he would still be exiled! BEST NOVEL OF THE YEAR, BRITISH FANTASY SOCIETY !

When Earth is destroyed to make way for a Hyperspatial express route, Arthur Dent discovers that space is big, as he is taken on a hair-raising tour of the Galaxy and its very strange inhabitants, by his friend Ford Perfect.

The whole thing was an accident. The Great Wizard Ebenezvm hadn't meant to conjure up the Demnon Guxx from the Netherhells; he was simply illustrating a few of the finer points of sorcery for his youthful apprentice, Wuntvor. But there was Guxx all the same,flashing razor-sharp teeth and...  more

The whole thing was an accident. The Great Wizard Ebenezvm hadn't meant to conjure up the Demnon Guxx from the Netherhells; he was simply illustrating a few of the finer points of sorcery for his youthful apprentice, Wuntvor. But there was Guxx all the same,flashing razor-sharp teeth and dagger-like claws, and - even worse - spouting such awful rhymes as: " Guxx Ubfufadoo is my name and killing wizards is my game." The two magicians managed to wrestle Guxx back to where he belonged, but not before the demon arranged a bit of revenge - a curse that made Ebenezvm allergic to magic. From that moment on, whenever Ebenezvm tried to cast a spell or found himself in the presence of magic, he'd be felled by a fit of sneezing.

I am not imaginary... Budo is lucky as imaginary friends go. He's been alive for more than five years, which is positively ancient in the world of imaginary friends. But Budo feels his age and thinks constantly of the day when eight-year-old Max Delaney will stop believing in him. When...  more

I am not imaginary... Budo is lucky as imaginary friends go. He's been alive for more than five years, which is positively ancient in the world of imaginary friends. But Budo feels his age and thinks constantly of the day when eight-year-old Max Delaney will stop believing in him. When that happens, Budo will disappear. Max is different from other children. Some people say he has Asperger’s, but most just say he’s “on the spectrum.” None of this matters to Budo, who loves Max unconditionally and is charged with protecting him from the class bully, from awkward situations in the cafeteria, and even in the bathroom stalls. But he can’t protect Max from Mrs. Patterson, a teacher in the Learning Center who believes that she alone is qualified to care for this young boy. When Mrs. Patterson does the unthinkable, it is up to Budo and a team of imaginary friends to save Max—and Budo must ultimately decide which is more important: Max’s happiness or his own existence. Matthew Dicks' Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a triumph of courage and imagination that touches on the truths of life, love, and friendship as it races to a heartwarming . . . and heartbreaking conclusion.

Here's the Cliff Notes you wished you'd had for King Lear—the mad royal, his devious daughters, rhyming ghosts and a castle full of hot intrigue—in a cheeky and ribald romp that both channels and chides the Bard and “all Fate's bastards.” It's 1288, and the king's fool,...  more

Here's the Cliff Notes you wished you'd had for King Lear—the mad royal, his devious daughters, rhyming ghosts and a castle full of hot intrigue—in a cheeky and ribald romp that both channels and chides the Bard and “all Fate's bastards.” It's 1288, and the king's fool, Pocket, and his dimwit apprentice, Drool, set out to clean up the mess Lear has made of his kingdom, his family and his fortune—only to discover the truth about their own heritage. There's more murder, mayhem, mistaken identities and scene changes than you can remember, but bestselling Moore (You Suck) turns things on their head with an edgy 21st-century perspective that makes the story line as sharp, surly and slick as a game of Grand Theft Auto. Moore confesses he borrows from at least a dozen of the Bard's plays for this buffet of tragedy, comedy and medieval porn action. It's a manic, masterly mix—winning, wild and something today's groundlings will applaud.

Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy, the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant. And Charlie's been lucky. He's married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy, and who is about to have their first child. Yes, Charlie's doing...  more

Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy, the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant. And Charlie's been lucky. He's married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy, and who is about to have their first child. Yes, Charlie's doing okay. That is, until the day his daughter, Sophie, is born. Just as Charlie turns to go home, he sees a strange man in mint-green golf wear at his wife's bedside, a man who claims that no one should be able to see him. But see him Charlie does, and from here on out, things get really weird. . . . People start dropping dead around him. It seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death. It's a dirty job. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.

Ishmael Jones is someone who can't afford to be noticed, someone who lives under the radar, who drives on the dark side of the road. He's employed to search out secrets, investigate mysteries and shine a light in dark places. Sometimes he kills people. Invited by his employer, the...  more

Ishmael Jones is someone who can't afford to be noticed, someone who lives under the radar, who drives on the dark side of the road. He's employed to search out secrets, investigate mysteries and shine a light in dark places. Sometimes he kills people. Invited by his employer, the enigmatic Colonel, to join him and his family for Christmas, Ishmael arrives at the grand but isolated Belcourt Manor in the midst of a blizzard to find that the Colonel has mysteriously disappeared. As he questions his fellow guests, Ishmael concludes that at least one of them not least Ishmael himself -- is harbouring a dangerous secret, and that beneath the veneer of festive cheer lurk passion, jealousy, resentment and betrayal. As a storm sets in, sealing off the Manor from the rest of the world, Ishmael must unmask a ruthless murderer they strike again.

1889. The Scottish Play is coming home. But before the darling couple of London theatre, Henry Irving & Ellen Terry, take their acclaimed Macbeth to the Edinburgh stage terror treads the boards. A grisly message found smeared across the cobbles in blood, foretelling someone's demise. As...  more

1889. The Scottish Play is coming home. But before the darling couple of London theatre, Henry Irving & Ellen Terry, take their acclaimed Macbeth to the Edinburgh stage terror treads the boards. A grisly message found smeared across the cobbles in blood, foretelling someone's demise. As the bloody prophecies continue to appear Edinburgh's own beloved pair -- Detective 'Nine-Nails' McGray & Inspector Ian Frey -- enter the scene. Frey scoffs at this blatant publicity stunt, while McGray is convinced of supernatural affairs. As they scrutinise the key players, they discover that Terry, Irving, and his peculiar, preoccupied assistant (one Bram Stoker) all have reasons to kill, or be killed... But one thing is clear. By occult curse or human hand, death will take bow the night the curtain rises.