Randall S. (randalls) reviewed Porn Nation: Conquering America's #1 Addiction on + 18 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
Good review of the pornography problems in the USA, & its effects on those who view it & their relationships including its terrible effects on marriage & family. From a Christian perspective. Provides some helps on changing the participant's mind & heart. Also describes the author's experiences with sex god Ron Jeremy.
Victoria T. (justicepirate) reviewed Porn Nation: Conquering America's #1 Addiction on + 350 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
Michael Leahy starts his book off with his own personal addictive issues to sex and pornography that he had, beginning with the root of when he first encountered pornography and masturbation up through his internet pornography obsession and eventual affair. He mentions that he had a constant need to feed his addiction; keeping it a secret from everyone and fooling everyone. It was really well told and interesting to learn of his perspective of the person he used to be.
There is a chapter of the book where he included journal entries from his wife during the time that he became slightly more open with his problems. It was really amazing to read what their children experienced and how she felt throughout that time. It was definitely difficult on her, and sadly ended in a divorce.
He ends the first half of this book about how he was able to escape his 30 year addiction through Jesus help, after deciding he would end his life but instead decided to start a new life right as he was preparing to end it. He explains the law of increase/decrease What you feed grows, and what you starve dies; the more that he would be around a sense of community of godly people, to pursue his relationship with Jesus, and work on fixing the broken relationships he had the less he would be interested in his pornography. He has been free from his bondage, but it took a lot of work in starving what he constantly fed for thirty years, while neglecting the important things in life like his relationship with Christ and relationship with his family and friends.
-as a sex addict feeds his lustful desires what they long for-sexual images, thoughts, fantasies, and experiences-his sexual compulsivity grows. Feed your sexual impulses with sexual experiences, and your sexual impulsiveness and acting-out behaviors increase.
-as youre feeding lust and watching it grow, youre also starving love and watching it die. Feed fantasy relationships, and your fantasy world grows. But in the process, you are starving real relationships, and they will begin to die. Feed yourself a steady diet of pornography, and youll increasingly view women as degraded sex objects-youll sexualize and objectify all women. And in the process of doing that, youll have fewer and fewer thoughts and images representing a healthy view of women as caring, loving, feeling individuals worthy of your admiration and respect. As you starve your mind of those healthy images of women, the idea or concept of women being anything but sex objects continues to die and fade away.
-For instance, instead of feeding myself sexual images from cable TV or the internet, Id starve myself of them. And if I found that I was starving myself of healthy relationships by isolating, I would look for opportunities to feed myself by getting more socially involved.
The second half of the book is where he talks about the general statistics and what the mass majority of porn and sexual addicts go through, including the sex generation of kids today. Id like to share a bit of what stood out most in this second half to me (he does have everything cited as well throughout this section).
-The amount of sexual content on basic cable and network television found that the number of sex scenes nearly doubled between 1998 and 2005.
-One recent study on teens found that watching sex on television increases the chances a teen will have sex, and may cause teens to start having sex at younger ages.
-The average American consumer is exposed to over 14,000 sexual images and messages every year, most of which objectify women and base their value on their body shape and size.
-The average age of first exposure to commercial pornography is somewhere between 11 and 14. But with one in four children in nursery school (ages 3, 4, and 5) going online, that average age is sure to drop.
-With studies showing us that over 80% of teens age 15-17 have had multiple exposure to hard-core pornography, its hard to imagine that pornography wouldnt play some role in influencing the sexual attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of this generation.
-Studies have shown that adolescents who watch television with high levels of sexual content are twice as likely to initiate sexual intercourse and also more likely to initiate other sexual activities. And teens with high levels of exposure to rap videos, which often promote drug use, violence, and sex, are significantly more likely to acquire an STD.
-27% of teens between the ages of 13 and 16 are now sexually avtive. In fact, over half of teens ages 15-19 say theyve had oral sex, and nearly half (42% of guys and 33% of girls ages 15-17) have had intercourse.
-Girls see 400 advertisements per day telling them how they should look.
-The Kaiser Family Foundation found that 60% of teens cited that many of their friends had already done it as a factor influencing their decision to have sex, and a similar number believed that their peers think having sex by age 15 is socially acceptable.
-59% of girls age 12-19 agree that society tells them that attracting boys and acting sexy is one of the most important things girls can do.
This quote especially stood out to me.
So we trade our history of sexual conservatism and naivety for a new kind of sexual freedom and worldly awareness that commercializes sexuality and turns it into a form of self-abuse. And we look around to see if innocence still exists, all we find are barely legal porn sites and girls going wild for their first time
The rest of the book discusses how to recognize if you have a sexual addiction, how to approach or admit it, what to do if you do have one, and what you can do to help it. It also gives a lot of information of how the brain works and how the addictions can grow or be fixed in a healthy way.
As pornography repeatedly triggers intense sexual arousal, our brain produces more and more dopamine, keeping us trapped in an intense cycle that mimics the early stages of infatuation, romance, and lovesickness. Overstimulate the brain with dopamine long and often enough, and the brain will adapt by increasing its tolerance levels. The result of increased tolerance is desensitization, similar to what an alcoholic or drug addict experiences after repeated use and abuse of their drug of choice.
As long as the relationship between pornographic sexual stimulation and experiencing sexual satisfaction continues, the use of artificial sexual stimulants like pornography and out-of-bounds sexual behaviors (prostitutes, strip clubs, massage parlors, etc) will only serve to increase their sexual compulsivity.
Overall I truly enjoyed reading and learning from Michael Leahys experience and research on the subject. He goes to various college campuses to discuss and debate with former porn-star Ron Jeremy quite often (which he also talks about in a whole chapter at the end of the book, which was quite interesting to read). It is amazing to see how God can transform and help anyone out of such a long-stemmed addiction.
There is a chapter of the book where he included journal entries from his wife during the time that he became slightly more open with his problems. It was really amazing to read what their children experienced and how she felt throughout that time. It was definitely difficult on her, and sadly ended in a divorce.
He ends the first half of this book about how he was able to escape his 30 year addiction through Jesus help, after deciding he would end his life but instead decided to start a new life right as he was preparing to end it. He explains the law of increase/decrease What you feed grows, and what you starve dies; the more that he would be around a sense of community of godly people, to pursue his relationship with Jesus, and work on fixing the broken relationships he had the less he would be interested in his pornography. He has been free from his bondage, but it took a lot of work in starving what he constantly fed for thirty years, while neglecting the important things in life like his relationship with Christ and relationship with his family and friends.
-as a sex addict feeds his lustful desires what they long for-sexual images, thoughts, fantasies, and experiences-his sexual compulsivity grows. Feed your sexual impulses with sexual experiences, and your sexual impulsiveness and acting-out behaviors increase.
-as youre feeding lust and watching it grow, youre also starving love and watching it die. Feed fantasy relationships, and your fantasy world grows. But in the process, you are starving real relationships, and they will begin to die. Feed yourself a steady diet of pornography, and youll increasingly view women as degraded sex objects-youll sexualize and objectify all women. And in the process of doing that, youll have fewer and fewer thoughts and images representing a healthy view of women as caring, loving, feeling individuals worthy of your admiration and respect. As you starve your mind of those healthy images of women, the idea or concept of women being anything but sex objects continues to die and fade away.
-For instance, instead of feeding myself sexual images from cable TV or the internet, Id starve myself of them. And if I found that I was starving myself of healthy relationships by isolating, I would look for opportunities to feed myself by getting more socially involved.
The second half of the book is where he talks about the general statistics and what the mass majority of porn and sexual addicts go through, including the sex generation of kids today. Id like to share a bit of what stood out most in this second half to me (he does have everything cited as well throughout this section).
-The amount of sexual content on basic cable and network television found that the number of sex scenes nearly doubled between 1998 and 2005.
-One recent study on teens found that watching sex on television increases the chances a teen will have sex, and may cause teens to start having sex at younger ages.
-The average American consumer is exposed to over 14,000 sexual images and messages every year, most of which objectify women and base their value on their body shape and size.
-The average age of first exposure to commercial pornography is somewhere between 11 and 14. But with one in four children in nursery school (ages 3, 4, and 5) going online, that average age is sure to drop.
-With studies showing us that over 80% of teens age 15-17 have had multiple exposure to hard-core pornography, its hard to imagine that pornography wouldnt play some role in influencing the sexual attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of this generation.
-Studies have shown that adolescents who watch television with high levels of sexual content are twice as likely to initiate sexual intercourse and also more likely to initiate other sexual activities. And teens with high levels of exposure to rap videos, which often promote drug use, violence, and sex, are significantly more likely to acquire an STD.
-27% of teens between the ages of 13 and 16 are now sexually avtive. In fact, over half of teens ages 15-19 say theyve had oral sex, and nearly half (42% of guys and 33% of girls ages 15-17) have had intercourse.
-Girls see 400 advertisements per day telling them how they should look.
-The Kaiser Family Foundation found that 60% of teens cited that many of their friends had already done it as a factor influencing their decision to have sex, and a similar number believed that their peers think having sex by age 15 is socially acceptable.
-59% of girls age 12-19 agree that society tells them that attracting boys and acting sexy is one of the most important things girls can do.
This quote especially stood out to me.
So we trade our history of sexual conservatism and naivety for a new kind of sexual freedom and worldly awareness that commercializes sexuality and turns it into a form of self-abuse. And we look around to see if innocence still exists, all we find are barely legal porn sites and girls going wild for their first time
The rest of the book discusses how to recognize if you have a sexual addiction, how to approach or admit it, what to do if you do have one, and what you can do to help it. It also gives a lot of information of how the brain works and how the addictions can grow or be fixed in a healthy way.
As pornography repeatedly triggers intense sexual arousal, our brain produces more and more dopamine, keeping us trapped in an intense cycle that mimics the early stages of infatuation, romance, and lovesickness. Overstimulate the brain with dopamine long and often enough, and the brain will adapt by increasing its tolerance levels. The result of increased tolerance is desensitization, similar to what an alcoholic or drug addict experiences after repeated use and abuse of their drug of choice.
As long as the relationship between pornographic sexual stimulation and experiencing sexual satisfaction continues, the use of artificial sexual stimulants like pornography and out-of-bounds sexual behaviors (prostitutes, strip clubs, massage parlors, etc) will only serve to increase their sexual compulsivity.
Overall I truly enjoyed reading and learning from Michael Leahys experience and research on the subject. He goes to various college campuses to discuss and debate with former porn-star Ron Jeremy quite often (which he also talks about in a whole chapter at the end of the book, which was quite interesting to read). It is amazing to see how God can transform and help anyone out of such a long-stemmed addiction.
