SHOPPING:  The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have.

A little coitus never hoitus.

Hi-tech Redneck Glossary:

       REBOOT - What you do when yer done scratchin' yer feet.

       SERVER - That feller who doles out the beans.

       SPREAD SHEET - One way of fertilizin' a field.

       POINT AND CLICK - What happens when yer gun misfires.

       CELL PHONE - What you use to make yer one call from prison.

       3.5 INCH FLOPPY - The droppin' of a really small cow.

       MICROCHIP - That same droppin' after it's been sittin' out in the sun for a spell.

       HARD DRIVE - A truck with two flat tires, stripped gears and a burnt-out clutch.

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

"I guess a drag queen's like an oil painting: You gotta stand back from it to get the full effect."
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."