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Book Reviews of You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2)

You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2)
You Suck A Love Story - Vampire, Bk 2
Author: Christopher Moore
ISBN-13: 9780060590307
ISBN-10: 0060590300
Publication Date: 1/8/2008
Pages: 336
Rating:
  • Currently 3.9/5 Stars.
 211

3.9 stars, based on 211 ratings
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Book Type: Paperback
Reviews: Amazon | Write a Review

44 Book Reviews submitted by our Members...sorted by voted most helpful

mahbaar avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 111 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 19
I couldn't even finish this book. The basis of some really great humor is there, but the immaturity of all the characters is such a letdown to what should have been an immensely funny premise.

When I read the description of this book, I really thought I was in for a treat, something out of my usual genre that would be really entertaining. What I got was a totally immature book in which the few moments of comical brilliance were simply lost by the half of the humor that stems from the basis that the two main vampires have the brains of a single rotten banana shared between the two of them. And don't get me started on the supporting characters, which have the same amount of brains shared among the eight of them. That combined with the nonstop sexual content is a real letdown. (Mind you, I'm no prude when it comes to sexual content, but do I really want to read about these morons and how they quite literally act like animals in bed? I didn't.) This would probably be a hilarious movie, but reading it was like fingernails on a blackboard.

No stars from me on this one. What a disappointment.
VeganFreak avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on
Helpful Score: 9
Sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. I thought that it was better than the first and much funnier. A few new characters are introduced and I loved them.

Some people have complained about the maturity of the humor, but this is an absurdest comedy and not meant to be high-brow. A few of the characters are teenagers, so yes, they are immature, but still witty.

If he rights a third book in this series, I would definitely read it!
sevenspiders avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 73 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 6
Having read and loved Bloodsucking Fiends, which introduces the vampire Jody and her boyfriend/minion Tommy Flood, I was delighted to get my hands on You Suck, the long overdue sequel. Picking up where Fiends left off, You Suck chronicles the further exploits of these two hapless immortals.

Now that Tommy is also a vampire, they face a whole new set of problems, not the least of which is finding a food source other than a giant shaved cat in a red sweater. Tommy's former vampire-hunting buddies are now under the influence of a blue hooker from Vegas who has taken all their money and wheedled them into stalking their old pal. The ancient vampire who Tommy and Jody defeated earlier is back on the prowl and has gotten into a sidewalk war with a street performer. Their new minion, goth girl Abby Normal, is convinced that "the vampire Lord Flood" is her dark master and that Jody is an 800 year old Celtic countess.

You Suck was as much fun as Bloodsucking Fiends, and included the addition of several hilarious new characters, especially Abby Normal and Chet the giant shaved cat. But the ending is more bittersweet than in the first, and leaves Tommy and Jody questioning what effect being a vampire has on being in love. The ending sombered the overall high spirits of the book, but it was still at least 98% as much fun as the first.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 93 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
Such a great, funny vampire story. Also read Bloodsucking Fiends which was the prequel to this book, even though you can read this totally stand alone. 5 stars*****
somercel avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 2 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
This book is absolutely hilarious! Christopher Moore is fantastic in all aspects of his writings. I'm not a teenager (I'm 27)and I loved this book. You will laugh your head off =)
Phantene avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 72 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. A hilarious vampire love story, I had a hard time putting this one down.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 121 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
Story Overview

"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

So begins the witty, sarcastic, bawdy romp that is You Suck -- a vampire book that makes other vampire books look positively Puritanical by comparison.

Tommy Flood awakens to find that his vampire girlfriend Jody has changed him into a vampire so she has company for the rest of time. Although at first he is a bit peeved, Tommy quickly finds that being a vampire isn't so bad -- the heightened senses make their sex even more exciting. However, the problem of food quickly arises. Jody used to feed on Tommy to keep herself alive -- but now her food source is gone and there are two hungry mouths to feed. They solve this problem creatively -- borrowing a homeless man's extremely large cat. In exchange for some booze, the cat is available for their nightly feasting.

Still, a vampire needs minions, which leads to the acquisition of Abby Normal -- teenage Goth and vampire wannabe -- whose diary entries are interspersed throughout the book and chronicle the travails of serving the Vampyre Flood and the Countess.

But even with a minion, Jody and Tommy's problems aren't quite solved. There is the little problem of the ancient vampire who created Jody and is currently trapped in bronze -- where Tommy and his band of vampire-fighting Safeway stock boys (the Animals) put him after robbing him of all his money and blowing up his yacht. And when Tommy's plan to dump the bronze statue containing the ancient vampire in the San Francisco Bay doesn't quite go as planned and the old vampire escapes -- well, trouble is afoot.

But wait...that's not all. The Animals are back from Vegas and have blown almost all the stolen money. But they are not alone. They are accompanied by Blue -- a Vegas hooker whose shtick is that her entire body is dyed blue (you know, like the Blue Man Group). She seems to have a supernatural hold on the Animals (or maybe it is the drugs), but she is slowly but surely getting all of their stolen money. Seeking help from their leader Tommy, the Animals are stunned to find that Tommy is not quite himself anymore. But Blue sees an opportunity.

And did I mention the murder investigation into the mysterious serial killer whose been terrorizing San Francisco and leaving the victims drained of blood?

My Thoughts

This book is not for everybody. I'm just going to go ahead and say that up-front. There is graphic language, drug use, sex scenes, violence, corruption of minors, drunkeness -- well, there is a little bit of everything. If material of this nature offends you, this book is not for you. However, if this stuff doesn't bother you and you have a dark sense of humor, this book is a must read! I just loved it. Let me put it this way, if you like movies like Pulp Fiction and find them funny, then you'll love this book. It has the same dark, twisted sense of humor.

After reading the Twilight books (which take vampires very very seriously), it was fun to see an author have a bit of fun with the concept of vampires. From making fun of Goth kids (who "outvampire" Tommy when he goes to a club looking for Abby) to Abby's reverential treatment of "the Vampyre Flood" (at least until she finds out he's only been a vampire for a week or so -- not centuries), Moore has a lot of fun with the vampire myths. One chapter, simply called "The Last Poop," reads in its entirety:

"So that was it?"
"Yep."
"Never again?"
"Nope."
"Not ever?"
"Nope."
"I feel like I should save them or something."
"Would you just flush and come out of there."

From worrying about Christmas gifts for their families to missing coffee to figuring out how to feed without murdering the innocent (they target those who are terminally ill and offer them mercy killing), Tommy and Jody retain much of their human qualities and compassion. And when Jody talks about how she never really felt safe until she became a vampire, I nodded my head in recognition. (What woman doesn't feel vulnerable when walking alone in a city? Wouldn't superhuman powers, strength and speed make you feel invincible too?)

Moore has a wonderfully sick sense of humor and isn't afraid to to use it. I thought the book was a lot of fun. I'll definitely be seeking out more books by this author -- which include titles such as Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, The Stupidest Angel, Practical Demonkeeping, and Island of the Sequined Love Nun. I suspect I'm in for quite a wild ride.

A Side Note: Don't underestimate the fun of reading a book entitled You Suck. I was reading this during my son's karate lesson and saw quite a few people eyeing up the cover and furrowing their eyebrows and seeming to think: "Is she trying to tell us something?" It was kind of a cheap thrill.

My Final Recommendation

If you have a dark sense of humor and don't mind graphic language and material, this book might be right up your alley -- especially if the idea of a bawdy, witty romp that has fun with vampirism appeals to you. However, if this type of material isn't your cup of tea, I'd skip this book and look for something a little tamer. Although I found the book very amusing and fun, it isn't for everyone.
starfkr avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 53 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
Quirky and funny quick read. I enjoyed the book very much but I think it appeals to people who enjoy black humor and dark wit. If you are someone who considers themselves a "Goth girl" (as I do, although I'm most defintely now a woman), you will get a real kick out of a few of the characters portrayed in the book. It's a fabulous parody of goth culture. I'm looking forward to reading more Moore (pun intended).
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 287 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 2
Love Christopher Moore (I've read all of his books). Several laugh out loud moments in this one. It had been a while since I read Bloodsucking Fiends (the prequel), so I didn't remember a lot of details, but I enjoyed seeing what happened next to Tommy and Jody. Fun book!
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on
Helpful Score: 2
First book I've read by Moore, I thought it was great! The diatribes by Abby Normal were hilarious. I saw at least two reviews on here complaining that the characters were too immature; that was why it was so funny! Surely different and worth the read.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 54 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 2
If you're looking for a serious vampire story along the lines of Anne Rice or others you're looking in the wrong place.

If, however, you're interested in a great, fun read, full of immature humor, biting (pun intended) wit and lots of charm, this is your book.

I'm definitely a fan of Christopher Moore's style of humor.
Acknud avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 82 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 2
I thought this book was hilarious. My favorite character was definitely Abby Normal. I seldom laugh out loud but this had my wife wondering what was wrong with me.
bookluver-in-sc avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 229 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
The continuing story of Thomas Flood and his vampire girlfriend Jody. Like all Moore's books funny and a very good read.
ASJ avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 341 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
Very good sequel to Blood Sucking Fiends. Entertaining and fast paced. Plot and characters well developed.
barbsis avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 1076 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
I picked this book up because of all the rave reviews about Christopher Moore. My only questions is "How old is he?" He writes like a 13 year old girl crossed with a sex-crazed teenage boy. What crap!

I felt like I was reading a stream of conscious diary of a teenaged valley girl. She was the vampire's minion and the vampire himself was a 19 year old boy who hasn't reached maturity yet and is working on his first ever girlfriend. And forget about the girl vamp who turned him.

The awful one liners and sex puns were atrocious and not even remotely funny. I guess some people find this amusing but I just found it boring and stupid.

I will say that if you can get past all the dialogue (and most of the novel is this claptrap), there is a decent story there but you really have to work for it.
Lenore avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 193 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
This, the sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends, is an odd little book. It's one of the books that you read ...and then you're not quite sure if you liked it or not. I don't think I'd re-read it...but, yet...

There are some truly hysterical, if juvenile, moments. A new vampire's transition is marked by a chapter called, "the last poo". And, seriously, this has to be one of the greatest dumb lines ever written: "like a toaster, I control the darkness".

If you like this book, try The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, by the same author. I really enjoyed that one. Though, I warn you, I recommended it to a friend and she didn't care for it. I think you have to have a fairly high tolerance for cheese and low humor. Fortunately, I do. The thing I like about this author is, that as juvenile as the humor can be, his books are still well-written.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 119 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
It took me a little while to get into. I liked Abby (think Juno). She was for me my favorite character.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 10 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
Aside from a couple amusing characters, I couldn't care about the collection of people in this book. Not caring what became of them killed any drive to finish reading. I skipped to the last chapter and consider it a few hours of my life salvaged.
sexywerevamp avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 2 more book reviews
It was okay I guess for YA, normally I like this genre but I just couldn't get into the book with the main character still being in the adolecent "oh my god!BREASTS!" (srry if i offend anyone with that last statement). I wouldn't suggest this book personally to any of my friends but some people may find it funny and interesting. it just reminded me too much of the stupid 'boys' in high school when the main character was said to be in his 20s i believe.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 2 more book reviews
Not your typical vampire (or "vampyre" as Abby Flood would say) book. It was wildly funny and amusingly twisted, with a tight plot and fast action. Reading it in public is interesting: the title gets double-takes, and giggling madly disconcerts people. I loved it and will be reading more of Moore.
valeriemarie83 avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 26 more book reviews
My review is very similiar to the first book, "Bloodsucking Fiends". The good parts really make up for the parts that felt boring or dragged on. And Moore is really good at ending the book in a way that leaves you feeling like you just gotta read the next one!
ForeverDreaming avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 14 more book reviews
I just finished reading this and I can't wait until the 3rd book in this series comes out. I thought Bloodsucking Fiends was a great book and then I read You Suck. What a great story. It is funny and suspenseful! You should definitely read Bloodsucking Fiends first or you will miss some of the little things. Make sure you understand when you read his books that they are meant to be funny, not serious. I have to say I was sad the book was over and I immediately went online to Christopher Moore's page and found that there will be a third book! I can't wait. I will buy it as soon as it is released!
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 4 more book reviews
I just find Christopher Moore's writing style so conversational and engaging, very easy to read, without fluff but with tons of content, imagery and of course HUMOR. A very dry and witty storyteller, Christopher Moore has approached this particular genera like no other has even thought to and I for one - a huge fan of the vampire genera - find it totally awesome.

I have read Lamb as well, and I have to say that I am completely hooked. Paperback swappers, give up your Christopher Moore's!!! :)
serseb avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 6 more book reviews
A typical C. Moore book, VERY FUNNY! Loved it.
bobbytc avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on
GREAT!!!! I loved it!!!
justreadingabook avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 1726 more book reviews
This was a freaking riot! Love the biting wit and oh so funny real life characters that bring it all. The story moves along quickly, characters are very well developed and so relatable even if a couple of them are vampires. Not your typical romantic sexy vampires but more like what the heck am I gonna do now vampires. Lots of swearing so be prepared.
candieb avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 239 more book reviews
Kind of a follow up to Bloodsucking Fiends. And it's funny, really funny. Christopher Moore does what he does best. Make you laugh, make you roll your eyes and makes you laugh some more. Read and try not to giggle. I dare you.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 18 more book reviews
An interesting read. Not the best in the world but okay.
Cheese avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 324 more book reviews
I loved this book, of couse I love almost everything that I have read of Christopher Moore. Yes the character Tommy is extremely whiny and annoying throughout the book, but the rest of the characters make up for it. The old drunk guy would probably be me if I was an old drunk guy. Not many authors can actually make me laugh out loud. Christopher Moore can everytime. I can't wait to read the third book "BITE ME".
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 8 more book reviews
I tried to like this book - I really did. But after several chapters, I gave up. I just could not make myself care about these characters.
momof3boysandagirl avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 58 more book reviews
I read 'Bloodsucking Fiends' and enjoyed it and this is the continuation of that series. I said in the review for 'Bloodsucking Fiends' its kinda like 'Twilight' written by a Frat boy lol. Its alot of guy humor and a fun read. It is a fun campy read and I flew thru it in barely a couple of days. Moore has a twisted sense of humor. I intend to read a few more of his books as I go, he is a good break between more serious reads.
Cageme avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 258 more book reviews
Apt Title
daedelys avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 1218 more book reviews
Moore is one of the funniest and one of my favorite authors. Make sure you read "Blood-Sucking Fiends" prior to this one because this is the 2nd in a series.

Overall, this book is just as crazy/funny as the first. I really hope he makes another one for this series, as it's sure to be one I get on the release date!
annapi avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 334 more book reviews
Well, this was a strange one. It opens with Tommy Flood realizing his vampire girlfriend Jody has just turned him, and most of the book deals with his struggle to adjust. I struggled with over half the book too, as this type of humor is really not my thing, especially with the teenage characters, particularly that of Abby Normal, the Goth girl who becomes their minion. But the action picks up up when Elijah, the vampire who turned Jody, comes after them, and what ensues is an amusing, confusing and lengthy comedy sketch that surprisingly becomes quite entertaining in the end. What persuaded me to rate the book 3 stars instead of the 2.5 I initially wanted to give it was the very last line, the only one in the book that made me laugh out loud. I had not planned on reading any more of Moore's work, but maybe one day if I'm in the mood for inanity...
ophelia99 avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 2527 more book reviews
I found out (after reading this book) that it was the sequel to "Bloodsucking Fiends" and also had characters in it from "A Dirty Job". I didn't know that when I read it. I have read two other Moore books "The Stupidest Angle" and "Fool". I thought "The Stupidest Angel" was so so; I absolutely adored "Fool". I thought "You Suck"...well, I thought it really sucked.

I thought the first page of the book was funny and it went downhill from there. Tommy gets turned into a vampire by his girlfriend and his girlfriend is supposed to be getting out of town. But, Tommy bronzed the old vamp who turned his girlfriend into a vampire so that old vamp is still around. Then Tommy's friends go to Las Vegas and blow all their money on a Blue Hooker. That basically was the story. Does it make sense to you? Well it didn't really make sense to me and there didn't seem to be a point to it.

I didn't really like any of the characters that much; the only character worth speaking of is Abby the goth girl. She was funny at parts, but even her long slang filled journal entries got boring to slog through after a while. I never figured out what the point of the story was; there wasn't anything of interest (or even urgency) propelling the story forward. All the characters ran around in a confused daze with no purpose what-so-ever. Now remember I have read Moore a couple times before so I know that that is part of his charm, but this book was ridiculous.

I didn't find any of the humor to be particularly clever (unless you are a twelve year old boy - this is a general statement I am not trying to stereotype 12 yr old boys...). I had a really, really hard time finishing this book. I put it down and said "forget this waste of time" more then once. Then in the last fourth of the book things picked up, so I decided to finish it. Then there was the ending, which was just plain stupid and screamed that Moore didn't want to write this book and had no idea how to finish it.

This book really knocked Moore down a few points in my opinion. I probably should have picked a better book of his to read. I am still interested in reading "Lamb" because I love a good parody of religion as much as the next person. But I won't be reading any more Moore books for a bit until the disappointment of this book clears through my system. If I hadn't read "Fool" before this book there would be no more Moore in my future (sorry for the horrible more Moore phrases....).
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 45 more book reviews
This was my first Christopher Moore book, and it will probably be my last. It was just so-so as far as vampire novels go. His style is very juvenile. If you're a teenager, you'll probably love it.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 2 more book reviews
"Bloodsucking Fiends", "You Suck" and "Bite Me" is one of the funniest series I have ever read. I love everything about these books. Read them when you have all day because you won't do anything else.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 10 more book reviews
One of the best sequels I have read.
LaurieS avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 504 more book reviews
Tommy wakes up to find his gorgeous new vampiric girlfriend Jody has turned him into a vampire so he could be with her all of the time. Tommy is easy-going enough and goes with the flow but he's only 19 and has a lot to learn. Now he has to adjust to a new life, hide his vampirism from his buds (a group called "The Animals") and give up his job at the supermarket. To please Jody, he decides to help her find a minion to do their bidding. This brings Abby Normal, a goth-wanna-be girl, into their lives. With her humorous typical teen journal entries (OMFG, LOL!) and her silly thoughts about goth-ness and vampires, she adds a bit of humor to the book just when I was beginning to get a wee bit bored with a plot that doesn't seem to be going anywhere at all. Moore has a talent for poking fun at stereotypes without ever being cruel. Not my favorite by this author but fun enough.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 23 more book reviews
Christopher Moore is capable of great work like Blood Sucking Fiends a Love Story. In my opinion he also sometimes phones it in. This story is amusing but it is just not up to the standard of BSF and certainly not as good as The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. I will never miss one of his new works because there is always that potential gem but this sequel is of the quality one expects from a sequel.
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 90 more book reviews
really, really bad...read 50 pages....that was all I could take
Thursday-Next avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 12 more book reviews
very very funny but be forewarned it is also x-rated.
g0ldie avatar reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 5 more book reviews
Quick read, not worthy of its New York Times Best Seller Rating though
reviewed You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire, Bk 2) on + 3 more book reviews
loved it.