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Book Review of Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office

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Book Overview
I usually don't like to use the blurbs on the back of the book to do my story overviews, but the one on this book is just too good to pass up:

This is the story of how a haughty former sorority girl went from having a household income of almost a quarter of a million dollars to being evicted from a ghetto apartment. It's a modern Greek tragedy, as defined by Roger Dunkle in The Classical Origins of Western Culture: a story in which "the central character, called a tragic protagonist or hero, suffers some serious misfortune which is not accidental and therefore meaningless, but is significant in that the misfortune is logically connected." In other words, the bitch had it coming.

In many ways, this is a classic Greek tragedy -- if you use Greek in the sorority sense and tragedy in the sense of "spending and not saving leads to a complete change in lifestyle once the dot com boom falls apart." At the start of the book, Jen Lancaster is living the dream -- a well-paying job, a to-die-for apartment in a ritzy section of Chicago, a live-in boyfriend, Prada handbags, designer shoes, regular highlight appointments at a trendy salon -- in other words, the lifestyle that many bright young people enjoyed during the dot com craziness when money seemed to grow from trees.

Then things start to fall apart. First, Jen is laid off for reasons that remain somewhat murky -- but seem to be due to the fact that her boss doesn't care for her straight talk and competence. Seeing this as a minor blip, Jen doesn't realize the gravity of the situation at first. Surely someone as competent as her would be able to get another job easily. But the jobs seems to dry up overnight -- and not just the executive level jobs she's enjoyed in the past. All jobs. She can't even get hired for a retail position.

Despite her increasingly lower standards, no employment opportunities come her way -- despite daily efforts to locate another job. So she starts a blog (which I suspect was a rarity back in the good old days of 2003) and starts writing about her life and job search efforts. (Eventually, her smart ass comments about companies that reject her actually cost her a shot at a job.) The years go by and nothing appears. Money is getting tighter and tighter -- and her former lifestyle of "easy come, easy go" money begins to catch up to her. Selling her handbags on eBay barely stems the increasingly hard to meet rent payments. So Jen does what any good woman would do -- gets married in order to get lots of gifts!

Yet even the wedding doesn't pull her and her new husband Fletch out of an increasingly dire financial situation. They face the inevitable -- a move to a less expensive neighborhood. But then even Fletch loses his job and falls into depression. Things gets worse and worse, and they begin contemplating the unthinkable: moving in with the parents. But at the last moment, Fletch manages to secure a job. And, at long last, Jen finally receives a job offer and -- almost simultaneously -- inquiries about her writing. (Her blog Jennsylvania has grown quite popular and some publications and a literary agent take notice.) She faces a classic dilemma -- take the job that will offer financial security or pursue her dream of writing? What to do? What to do? The fact that Jen Lancaster just released her fourth book -- Pretty In Plaid -- answers this question nicely.

My Thoughts
Putting aside my intense jealousy of her writing success and the fact that she "rose out of the blogosphere," I must admit that I loved this book. Jen Lancaster's writing style is funny, brash and in-your-face -- the reader can totally see why her blog became incredibly popular. And her use of footnotes must be admired -- I've never seen an author since Dave Egger's A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius make such good use of this underused literary device. Treating herself almost as a larger than life protagonist, Jen Lancaster is a person you would want to hang out with -- but maybe not work for.

Her stories all have the ring of truth but come off as so dramatic and hysterical. She has a knack for self-depreciation mixed with smartassedness (not sure if that is really a word) that makes what might be a boring story in lesser hands turn into comedy gold. Her story of trying to discover which neighbor is stealing her Wall Street Journal is a stellar example of this. If a less talented writer had written it, it might go something like this:

Someone is taking my Wall Street Journal. I decide to find out who and set up a stakeout to find out. The guy in 3F seems like he might be the thief, but he takes USA Today instead. The lady with the big boobs from 2C walks right by. But seeing her drink her coffee reminds me I have to pee really bad as I've already had 6 cups of coffee.

In Jen Lancaster's hands, it sounds more like this:

Wait, I think I see something.....The guy in 3F has just left his apartment -- WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP THAT GODDAMNED TRASHBAG --and is heading down the catwalks. I grab the phone while holding the binoculars steady, fingers itching to dial 911. Aha! He's stopping to grab a paper! Thief! Thief! You are so busted, motherfu--Oh, damn. He took USA Today. At least that proves he's a moron. And I still really have to pee. However, I'll ignore the physical discomfort because I'm committed to seeing this through.

Uh-huh, here comes President Jugs out of 2C, bouncing down the stairs. Boing, boing, boing. She just bought an Audi convertible and still has her Mercedes. You'd think with all that extra cash she could afford a bra with decent support. She pauses to take a pull from her travel coffee mug. Oh, please don't drink that. Can't stand the idea of more liquid. Am crossing my legs at this point. But I must focus to catch this criminal. And jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, she's headed for my paper ... and walks right past it. She heads out the door and I see her drive away. So she's innocent. For now.

Let us all be happy Jen Lancaster decided to pursue writing instead of taking another high-paying corporate position. This way, we're all the richer for it ... not just her.

My Final Recommendation
Fun and filled with attitude, this book is a fast read that will leave you wanting more -- good thing she wrote three other books after this one! And underneath all the humor, snarkiness and wit, there are some important reminders about what is really important in life -- and guess what, it isn't a Prada bag. I will definitely be reading more by this author. If you want to get a feel for Jen Lancaster, I recommend a visit to her blog Jennsylvania.