Bookfanatic reviewed on
Helpful Score: 1
I've read a lot of marriage self-help books though I'm not sure why. Not to brag, but I have a great marriage. Gottman's Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work is probably the best marriage improvement book I've read. It's very clear, straightforward and easy to understand.
Gottman turns upside down some of the conventionally accepted ideas for what makes a marriage work. For example, couples in happy marriages fight and sometimes very loudly and fiercely. Communication isn't necessarily what keeps a couple in a marriage; emotional connection is. Couples in happy marriages have strategies they use, perhaps not even realizing it, to defuse a tense situation that couples in troubled marriages don't. He uses real life examples, real life fights between couples to illustrate his points. He uses scientific data gained from his marriage lab (where he observes married couples) instead of winging it with his own opinions as so many marriage therapists do. I especially liked the section on the Four Horseman of the Relationship Apocalpyse - criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
The advice in this book is invaluable. I might give this to my nieces and nephews when they get married. Too bad in our society people so much time planning their wedding and honeymoon and not enough on how to make a marriage work.
Gottman turns upside down some of the conventionally accepted ideas for what makes a marriage work. For example, couples in happy marriages fight and sometimes very loudly and fiercely. Communication isn't necessarily what keeps a couple in a marriage; emotional connection is. Couples in happy marriages have strategies they use, perhaps not even realizing it, to defuse a tense situation that couples in troubled marriages don't. He uses real life examples, real life fights between couples to illustrate his points. He uses scientific data gained from his marriage lab (where he observes married couples) instead of winging it with his own opinions as so many marriage therapists do. I especially liked the section on the Four Horseman of the Relationship Apocalpyse - criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
The advice in this book is invaluable. I might give this to my nieces and nephews when they get married. Too bad in our society people so much time planning their wedding and honeymoon and not enough on how to make a marriage work.
