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Book Review of Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know

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"Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man."

Stand By Your Man by Tammy Wynette

Mary Jo Buttafuoco stood by her man through sex, drugs, and an assailant's bullet. And all she got in return was more of the same from her charming, but soulless husband, Joey, and scorn from the world. Before there were the O.J.-Nicole-Ron and the Scott-Laci-Amber sagas, there was the Amy Fisher-Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco triangle. While the who- done- it part of the shooting (Amy Fisher) was solved in a few days, the why part, as in why did Mary Jo stay with Joey remained a mystery until now.

Getting it Through My Thick Skull by Mary Jo Buttafuoco with Julie McCarron is Mary Jo's rebuttal to the naysayers. An older, wiser, and now- divorced Buttafuoco explains that for nearly thirty years she was emotionally tethered to a sociopath: her former husband Joey. Poignantly, the memoir also sheds light on the devastating toll Joey Buttafuoco's antics took on their two children.

According to Getting it Through My Thick Skull, "living with a sociopath disrupts every normal part of life --- sex, money, parenting, employment. . . ." The Buttafuocos' marriage was certainly no exception to this pattern. The book details Joey Buttafuoco's addictions to cocaine, sex, free spending, and reckless thrill-seeking. Sociopaths thrive on manipulating others through pathological lying to advance their own selfish desires or simply for kicks. As Buttafuoco relates, "if you haven't ever been under a sociopath's spell be grateful. They can charm the birds out of the trees and tell you black is white, and have you believing it."

Buttafuoco also reveals her own personal demons - an addiction to prescription pain pills and clinical depression. Later after kicking the pill addiction and forgiving Amy Fisher, Buttafuoco finally musters the courage to leave Joey. And in true fairytale fashion she finds true love.

Getting it Through My Thick Skull is both a sad tale of one family's descent into chaos at the hands of the male head-of-household and inspirational in the sense of watching Mary Jo bloom.