Helpful Score: 20
This pushed several of my ick buttons:
-The heroine goes from virgin to whore in 0.2 seconds
-The heroine goes from ignorant virgin to horny sex kitten who gives best sex ever in 0.2 seconds.
-The heroine is very noisy during sex, and several times is described as grunting during sex.
-Several times the heroine says no, but the heros ignore her (and have sex anyway) because they "know" she doesn't really mean it.
-Awkward dialogue and overuse of the word "slit".
-The entire book has a freshman feel to it, I've seen better writing in Jr. High bathroom graffiti.
-Needs an editor and thesaurus.
-The heroine goes from virgin to whore in 0.2 seconds
-The heroine goes from ignorant virgin to horny sex kitten who gives best sex ever in 0.2 seconds.
-The heroine is very noisy during sex, and several times is described as grunting during sex.
-Several times the heroine says no, but the heros ignore her (and have sex anyway) because they "know" she doesn't really mean it.
-Awkward dialogue and overuse of the word "slit".
-The entire book has a freshman feel to it, I've seen better writing in Jr. High bathroom graffiti.
-Needs an editor and thesaurus.
