Susan G. (liliroze) reviewed Terrible disappointment, author does not know characters at all on + 29 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 4
Linda Berdoll has written two books (this, and the equally terrible "Days and Nights at Pemberly") that prove two things: first, that she knows nothing about the characters Elizabeth and Darcy, and second, that she is egocentric enough to claim (multiple times) on the jacket covers that she has acheived something Jane Austen hadn't -- showing us that Darcy and Elizabeth can have sex.
And sex they have -- again, and again and again. At one point Darcy claims "I am a beast to be at you this way, Lizzy." And "Pray, forgive me, Lizzy, I fear I must have you again." Mr. Darcy certainly does 'take' his wife. Ad nauseam.
After "christening" all 200 rooms in Pemberly, the reader gets sick of it too, believe it or not. Darcy adopts the annoying habit of calling her "Lizzy" only when he wants to bed her, and Elizabeth is so overcome with passion that she starts to secretly fear her master will determine she is a common street trollop. (This is where we learn -- definitely too much information -- that Darcy is schooled in the street language and sexual habits of the London common man -- referring to a certain sexual position as a "thrup'ence upright" and the vernacular "dip your wick.")
Even worse is the time Darcy and Elizabeth ride off from a hunting group while at Pemberly to have sex in the woods, and upon their return one of the older married women of the group shouts in front of all prim English society, "You are plowing the fields often enough, Darcy, you should get a good crop soon." Ugh. It is also inferred that Elizabeth likes for Darcy to read the smutty parts of Shakespeare to her, but only after Darcy warns her Shakespeare is not for ladies.
The writing style is atrocious, with Berdoll preferring a bizarre method of using flashbacks to the point of delirium. The reader finds herself introduced to the "aftermath" of something at the chapter's start, and is soon tumbled backward in time to get to the heart and understanding of the matter -- and if one is REALLY lucky, the author will treat you to a flashback-within-a-flashback, which leaves one dreading a third-generation flashback is just around the corner, and I can't say that doesn't emerge at some point . . .
But WORST of all, is the author's complete and total disregard for the very nature of Darcy and Elizabeth. Elizabeth, one of the strongest female characters in English literature, is portrayed as meek and careless, including angering Darcy once by contradicting him in front of his head servant. Always a lady, Elizabeth would never commit such a social gaffe. And Darcy! The worst of Berdoll's ignorance of nature is left to him.
**SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** It is not only implied that Darcy was a frequenter of a London upper-class prostitute (including fervently bedding her just before returning to Elizabeth to propose for the final time in "Pride and Prejudice," in one of Berdoll's ever-present flashbacks) but it is also heavily insinuated that Darcy impregnated a young Pemberly chambermaid when he was 16, all the while the maid was also servicing Wickham, which leads to the introduction of a young man who comes to work in the stables at Pemberly. This boy of 13 or 14 yrs old just happens to look SO much like Darcy that Elizabeth casually comments upon it, and the paternity of said young man is never firmly revealed.
Darcy swings back and forth between his stoic, prideful nature that had cooled Elizabeth to him in the original book (that she was supposed to have cured him of - DUH, Ms. Berdoll!), and his feverish desire to bed Elizabeth at every opportunity. Elizabeth is part trollop and part idiot -- worrying at one point that Darcy will divorce her because he refers to her (ugh) 'nether-regions' as "small." Of course, in Berdoll's graphic, sex-filled Pemberly, this euphemism is meant by Darcy to be a complement to his virile manhood and the "snugness" he finds within his wife . . . however, Elizabeth is relegated to acting the part of idiot as she answers him by saying "I am stunted, and you must now find a woman more suited to the wifely duties you require." What nonsense.
Darcy and Elizabeth, at their hearts, are two characters who changed each other's lives in Pride and Prejudice. Some things Berdoll got right -- **SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** like the fact that Darcy and Elizabeth choose to share a marital bed (which I think is a breach of convention at the time that they would choose to do) and Darcy allows Elizabeth to nurse her own babies instead of employing a wetnurse. However, allowing Darcy to regularly slip back into his stoicism and prideful nature (the one Elizabeth's love broke him of in "Pride and Prejudice") and then constantly treating the smart, witty, outspoken (yet always ladylike) Elizabeth as a feeble-minded nit wit who constantly defies convention in ways that are a potential embarrassment to Darcy, is simple unacceptable.
Trust me, if you wish to read erotica about Darcy and Elizabeth, pick up a book with some good sex scenes in it and then insert the names "Elizabeth" and "Darcy" and you will get the same satisfaction this book garners. From the ridiculous to the impossible --**SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** an illegimate son, a kidnapping of Elizabeth by a sex-crazed madman, Darcy's cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam falling in love with Elizabeth (WHAT?!), Lydia and Wickham popping out babies left and right (including Wickham visiting Elizabeth at Pemberly when Darcy isn't there, and Elizabeth keeps it secret from Darcy -- which would NEVER happen!), Elizabeth's near-death after a stillbirth, the introduction of the French prostitute Darcy had favored as she returns to their lives . . . it just seems as though Berdoll will do anything she can to invent reasons to keep the reader reading, when actually it just shows her desperation.
A massive disappointment.
And sex they have -- again, and again and again. At one point Darcy claims "I am a beast to be at you this way, Lizzy." And "Pray, forgive me, Lizzy, I fear I must have you again." Mr. Darcy certainly does 'take' his wife. Ad nauseam.
After "christening" all 200 rooms in Pemberly, the reader gets sick of it too, believe it or not. Darcy adopts the annoying habit of calling her "Lizzy" only when he wants to bed her, and Elizabeth is so overcome with passion that she starts to secretly fear her master will determine she is a common street trollop. (This is where we learn -- definitely too much information -- that Darcy is schooled in the street language and sexual habits of the London common man -- referring to a certain sexual position as a "thrup'ence upright" and the vernacular "dip your wick.")
Even worse is the time Darcy and Elizabeth ride off from a hunting group while at Pemberly to have sex in the woods, and upon their return one of the older married women of the group shouts in front of all prim English society, "You are plowing the fields often enough, Darcy, you should get a good crop soon." Ugh. It is also inferred that Elizabeth likes for Darcy to read the smutty parts of Shakespeare to her, but only after Darcy warns her Shakespeare is not for ladies.
The writing style is atrocious, with Berdoll preferring a bizarre method of using flashbacks to the point of delirium. The reader finds herself introduced to the "aftermath" of something at the chapter's start, and is soon tumbled backward in time to get to the heart and understanding of the matter -- and if one is REALLY lucky, the author will treat you to a flashback-within-a-flashback, which leaves one dreading a third-generation flashback is just around the corner, and I can't say that doesn't emerge at some point . . .
But WORST of all, is the author's complete and total disregard for the very nature of Darcy and Elizabeth. Elizabeth, one of the strongest female characters in English literature, is portrayed as meek and careless, including angering Darcy once by contradicting him in front of his head servant. Always a lady, Elizabeth would never commit such a social gaffe. And Darcy! The worst of Berdoll's ignorance of nature is left to him.
**SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** It is not only implied that Darcy was a frequenter of a London upper-class prostitute (including fervently bedding her just before returning to Elizabeth to propose for the final time in "Pride and Prejudice," in one of Berdoll's ever-present flashbacks) but it is also heavily insinuated that Darcy impregnated a young Pemberly chambermaid when he was 16, all the while the maid was also servicing Wickham, which leads to the introduction of a young man who comes to work in the stables at Pemberly. This boy of 13 or 14 yrs old just happens to look SO much like Darcy that Elizabeth casually comments upon it, and the paternity of said young man is never firmly revealed.
Darcy swings back and forth between his stoic, prideful nature that had cooled Elizabeth to him in the original book (that she was supposed to have cured him of - DUH, Ms. Berdoll!), and his feverish desire to bed Elizabeth at every opportunity. Elizabeth is part trollop and part idiot -- worrying at one point that Darcy will divorce her because he refers to her (ugh) 'nether-regions' as "small." Of course, in Berdoll's graphic, sex-filled Pemberly, this euphemism is meant by Darcy to be a complement to his virile manhood and the "snugness" he finds within his wife . . . however, Elizabeth is relegated to acting the part of idiot as she answers him by saying "I am stunted, and you must now find a woman more suited to the wifely duties you require." What nonsense.
Darcy and Elizabeth, at their hearts, are two characters who changed each other's lives in Pride and Prejudice. Some things Berdoll got right -- **SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** like the fact that Darcy and Elizabeth choose to share a marital bed (which I think is a breach of convention at the time that they would choose to do) and Darcy allows Elizabeth to nurse her own babies instead of employing a wetnurse. However, allowing Darcy to regularly slip back into his stoicism and prideful nature (the one Elizabeth's love broke him of in "Pride and Prejudice") and then constantly treating the smart, witty, outspoken (yet always ladylike) Elizabeth as a feeble-minded nit wit who constantly defies convention in ways that are a potential embarrassment to Darcy, is simple unacceptable.
Trust me, if you wish to read erotica about Darcy and Elizabeth, pick up a book with some good sex scenes in it and then insert the names "Elizabeth" and "Darcy" and you will get the same satisfaction this book garners. From the ridiculous to the impossible --**SPOILER ALERT (to end of paragraph)** an illegimate son, a kidnapping of Elizabeth by a sex-crazed madman, Darcy's cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam falling in love with Elizabeth (WHAT?!), Lydia and Wickham popping out babies left and right (including Wickham visiting Elizabeth at Pemberly when Darcy isn't there, and Elizabeth keeps it secret from Darcy -- which would NEVER happen!), Elizabeth's near-death after a stillbirth, the introduction of the French prostitute Darcy had favored as she returns to their lives . . . it just seems as though Berdoll will do anything she can to invent reasons to keep the reader reading, when actually it just shows her desperation.
A massive disappointment.
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